Ep. 6: Max's Small Hole

In Episode 6 of the Playing With Traffic podcast, Maxum "Goatse Slave" Trafficum discusses his small hole in great detail. Konner discovers OG Mudbone isn't who he thought he was, and Vinno imprisons Max for life.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Crumple. Pumple.

SPEAKER_06 0:04

Minty fresh.

SPEAKER_02 0:06

Crumple pumple. Minty fresh. Crumple pumple fresh so goddamn bad, man. What?

SPEAKER_00 0:15

You always chose choose the most frustrating words. I just couldn't.

SPEAKER_06 0:19

That's why I go third. Judification.

SPEAKER_00 0:21

Remember that one? Yeah, that one.

SPEAKER_02 0:23

By the way, junification is not a fucking worm.

SPEAKER_06 0:25

Yeah. Yeah. It's also meta. I am writing my own dialect called spanglinese. And judification is a word in it. Spa span splang. Spanglinese? Spanglinese. Can we unpack that? Spanish, English, Vietnamese. Oh. Okay. How the fuck does it mean?

SPEAKER_00 0:46

How does putting those three languages together create the words? Vietnamese a language? Um I think it I think it well. Yes. Yes. Yep, it is.

SPEAKER_06 0:57

Nope, we're good.

SPEAKER_02 0:58

Max, you're still pretty much.

SPEAKER_06 1:00

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 1:01

Yeah. I mean that's true.

SPEAKER_02 1:04

They call me apartheid, Max. Oh. Welcome back. Okay, no, we shouldn't do that. Oh, are we doing that?

SPEAKER_00 1:12

No, I thought I thought that's cancelled. I thought we weren't doing that.

SPEAKER_06 1:15

Hey, wait, but we actually finally have a title now. Isn't this our first episode with a title? No. Three logs.

SPEAKER_00 1:20

I thought we already logs, baby, and Sunolog. I don't remember. I actually don't remember. If we recorded one with this title or not.

SPEAKER_06 1:32

For anybody who's made it for the first six episodes and heard our discussion. Potentially five titles.

SPEAKER_02 1:37

Potentially five.

SPEAKER_06 1:37

Potentially five.

SPEAKER_00 1:38

Potentially later though. Potentially four.

SPEAKER_02 1:40

Episode three. Episode three is tough.

SPEAKER_00 1:43

Yeah, that was yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:44

Episode three is pretty fucking tough. I was listening back to a lot of talk of cum and jerking off and also a lot of personal information.

SPEAKER_00 1:53

Yeah, there's a lot of I thought it was good though. Is that the one? That's fine. I don't know. There's one of them. I mean, we could we could always cut it up. And uh but I don't know. There's there's one of them where I do say your social security number a lot.

unknown 2:08

Yeah, well.

SPEAKER_05 2:11

And try it again.

SPEAKER_06 2:12

You want me to hit it?

SPEAKER_05 2:14

No, actually I don't.

SPEAKER_06 2:15

It's more what you're doing. I do panel.

SPEAKER_05 2:16

Me, me, me, me.

SPEAKER_06 2:18

Uh okay, hey. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 2:22

You got it. Okay?

SPEAKER_06 2:23

You have it locked in, okay?

SPEAKER_00 2:24

Sure do.

SPEAKER_05 2:26

Um yeah, the title of the podcast is playing with traffic.

SPEAKER_00 2:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:33

It is?

SPEAKER_05 2:34

Yay!

SPEAKER_00 2:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:36

We did it. Wait. When did we land on that?

SPEAKER_06 2:42

Like, didn't we? We had a meeting last week, didn't we? No, we didn't. What we didn't?

SPEAKER_02 2:48

We didn't talk about that. Oh my god, someone wake me up. I'm in a coma. Wait, you wanted the you guys want playing with traffic?

unknown 2:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:56

Oh. Oh yeah, that's um. Hmm. No, let me think about that. You guys hold on.

SPEAKER_06 3:03

Okay. Okay, back to the drawing board, I guess.

SPEAKER_02 3:05

No, I'm joking, dude. Yeah, that's great. That's the name of the podcast.

SPEAKER_06 3:08

Yay!

SPEAKER_00 3:09

Huge. Huge! We did it! We could be the SpongeBob. Uh just just throwing in a last minute. We could be the Spongebob Big GuyPants OK.

SPEAKER_02 3:19

Spongebob Big GuyPants Okay podcast? Yeah, it could be. I would do that if Ice Spice wasn't personally hunting down and killing people, uh, breaching the copyright on that song. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 3:31

Yeah, she's like shaving their skin off and making it into a purse, too. It's kind of weird.

SPEAKER_02 3:35

The last thing they ever hear is Spongebob Big Guy Pants not okay.

SPEAKER_06 3:47

I'm a jellyfish, but I'm a catch.

SPEAKER_00 3:49

SpongeBob Big Guy Pants, evil.

SPEAKER_02 3:52

SpongeBob Big Guy Pants Hideous! I can't wait for the 10-minute mark of this episode when I'm done eating mini corn dogs so I can talk better.

SPEAKER_06 4:02

What? How was your guys' Christmases?

SPEAKER_00 4:08

Good? Good, dude. I got a tire inflator. Whoa, that's big?

SPEAKER_06 4:14

You've been asking for that for years, right?

SPEAKER_00 4:16

Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't even need to get plugged into the wall.

SPEAKER_02 4:25

He doesn't need to use a bike pump anymore.

SPEAKER_06 4:27

Where do you insert it to make your belly big?

SPEAKER_00 4:30

Well, it depends on how I'm feeling. I have a small hole. This morning, this morning I did I chose I chose buttholes.

SPEAKER_08 4:39

You have a small hole.

SPEAKER_06 4:43

Once when I was in fifth grade, I had to get my pee hole ripped because it was too small.

SPEAKER_00 4:46

Oh yeah, now you just goop. No. Right? You don't have a guess you just goop.

SPEAKER_06 4:52

Well, what? So the crazy thing is I went to like a doctor, like a skin doctor, and they just used like their two thumbs and ripped a hole big. No, no! It wasn't very medical. No! Come to think of it, it wasn't really at a doctor's office either. It was like in my backyard. Dude, no, okay, now I know you're fucking dumb. But this is actually true. I did go to a doctor and they just took their two thumbs and went wheep. So I told that story to my friend the other day, and then I kept saying, I have a small hole. My hole is small. I hate this. I hate this. Oh, yeah, can you so envision your own member? I I am. That's why I'm so distraught and disgrothled. Hold it. No! Hold it. Hold it. Hold it.

SPEAKER_02 5:32

Dude, yesterday, yesterday I thought I was having prostate issues because I pissed like 10 times and I've only pissed three times today, so we're okay.

SPEAKER_06 5:39

I didn't know peeing a lot was a prostate issue.

SPEAKER_00 5:42

Yeah, that's why old people. That's why old old boy get up and pee in the night type shit.

SPEAKER_06 5:47

Old boy get up and pee in the night type shit. Now that was poetic, dude. Thank you. Old boy, get up in the night, pee type shit. Old boy. Old boy. Oh boy. Oh old boy. Oh boy. Old boy prostate. Old boy prostate pee and night. Old boy prostate pee and night. P and night.

SPEAKER_02 6:09

Oh boy, prostate, pee and night. Oh boy, pee pants, bad okay. Oh boy, big pants, big okay.

SPEAKER_06 6:18

Okay, oh boy, big pants. P okay. Yeah, so I have a small hole. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 6:23

That's pretty funny. But you don't have a small hole anymore.

SPEAKER_06 6:26

Well, it's bigger now. But it's still a small hole.

SPEAKER_00 6:28

It's like huge now.

SPEAKER_06 6:30

I have a small hole. I have a small hole. Well, it's funny because there's still a scar. Made my pee pee look weird. Oh, come on. Yeah. Sorry. Cut that. Cut that out. Cut that out. Oh, come on. You sounded so disappointed.

unknown 6:44

Come on. What the fuck?

SPEAKER_02 6:48

Oh, stop talking about the peehole. Alright, so uh I need to hear about this fucking Wookiee life debt, please.

SPEAKER_05 6:55

Oh, you really want to get into the good shit. Oh, should we wait? Oh, we can wait.

SPEAKER_02 7:02

There is a lot to talk about, obviously. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:05

Well, I mean, this is a good start, I think. Connor, would you like to take it away? I feel like, you know, I I come in later in the story, so I feel like you should maybe initiate with some background situation you put yourself in.

SPEAKER_06 7:21

So once when I was a little young, Maxie.

SPEAKER_00 7:24

Two years ago.

SPEAKER_06 7:26

Three years ago, yeah. Four. Um, I happened to invite a person I knew from high school over at a point.

SPEAKER_02 7:38

They were in high school when you met them?

SPEAKER_06 7:40

No, no. We went to the same high school, graduated the same year. They were my age. They were adults. We were adults.

SPEAKER_02 7:45

I'm just I'm just clarifying.

unknown 7:49

Important.

SPEAKER_06 7:49

Yes. Important.

SPEAKER_02 7:50

The woman inside of your house right now, before we started recording, you kept saying you met at the bus stop. Nope. Nope. She is also in the bus. She was coming home. I didn't meet her at the bus stop. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 8:00

She is an adult. And I didn't meet her at the bus stop on the on a half-size bus, if you will.

SPEAKER_00 8:07

Wow. I'm gonna cut that out for sure.

SPEAKER_08 8:15

Right, yeah. So don't be a cunt.

SPEAKER_06 8:22

Oh, he called me her a cunt. Yeah, so so uh this woman came over. Woman. Woman. To be clear. Um and had gone through some changes in adult life. And maybe some of their photos online didn't reflect those changes. They're fat. I wouldn't. I don't need to get into it. You know?

SPEAKER_03 8:47

Yeah, you're fat.

SPEAKER_06 8:48

But that you know, life is different for all of us and things change. Life comes out as a fat handed. Life comes at you fat. We ended up Life comes at you fat. That's correct. We ended up you know. I was drinking some salt vodka.

SPEAKER_00 9:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 9:09

We were in my room.

SPEAKER_00 9:10

Well, so so also just a bit of flavor here. Um she pulls up, you know, and me and Gabe and Jack, I think we're just chilling in the living room, playing some video games, and you know, she's like, hey guys, I'm whatever the fuck. Uh, and then she she leads Max into his room and she closes the door and locks it. She did yeah, she did do that. She did do that.

SPEAKER_06 9:35

How she knew it was my room, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 9:37

Well, she saw the fucking mess of Svedka bottles on the floor, and she was like, Oh, whoever's gonna be there.

SPEAKER_06 9:42

This room is absolute utter squalor, dude. Yeah, I mean, that is fair. Uh nobody else's room was squalor like mine, or still is.

SPEAKER_02 9:51

And yet you still pull, dude, even today, to this day.

SPEAKER_06 9:54

Yeah, you know.

SPEAKER_02 9:55

I'm so proud. You got you got dude, Max got riz.

SPEAKER_07 9:59

Hey, man, come on.

SPEAKER_02 10:02

He's got must. Well, I do got must it's all buffer. There's something about it.

SPEAKER_06 10:06

It's charming. It's the pheromus.

SPEAKER_02 10:08

Um yeah, it's like you smell so fucking interesting. You smell like you smell like you should probably go to the doctor. You smell really interesting. You smell like after we're done having violent animal sex, you should do something about that smench of yours. You smell like Cajun Alfredo, but in a bad way.

SPEAKER_06 10:32

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Keep going. That was a goodie. So, yeah, so you know, woo-woo. Things happen. Right? Whatever. Um, well, you come on, man. There was some canoodling.

SPEAKER_08 10:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 10:49

Right? Okay. Some canoodling. I are you familiar with jelly worming?

SPEAKER_00 10:55

Gummy worming.

SPEAKER_06 10:55

No. Gummy worming, gummy worming, excuse me. Okay, well, just so you know, it's a phenomenon where your PP doesn't really work all the way. Your Pinot is just kind of like a gummy worm flopping around. Are you familiar?

SPEAKER_02 11:09

I'm now familiar, man.

SPEAKER_06 11:10

Now familiar with gummy worming, yeah. So I was gummy worming. And uh it wasn't the Pino Desk and post. I didn't have a good time, let's say. Um come to find out, this woman has already had three children.

SPEAKER_00 11:26

Hence the chance.

SPEAKER_06 11:27

And is fertile. Fertile.

SPEAKER_02 11:33

Oh, are we happy about the fact that you weren't wearing protection?

SPEAKER_06 11:36

I don't remember.

SPEAKER_00 11:39

No, to my understanding, the way that you explained it, now I can step in and kinda so Max came out uh and this was like I want to say like 11 o'clock. He came out. It was a Tuesday. It was it was just me out in the living room. And he was like, I'm I'm drunk, I was gummy worming, I was wearing a condom, but I was so soft that it fell out. And oh, yes, that did it did fall.

SPEAKER_06 12:10

That's that's correct.

SPEAKER_00 12:11

Yeah, and so so he was like, I I I need to get plan B. She's baby trapped three other dudes.

SPEAKER_06 12:20

And I didn't say that was exact words. I wasn't that cool, but um take two, sorry.

SPEAKER_00 12:28

She's fornicated and produced children with three other men. She's an upstanding lady, but I don't want to be number four.

SPEAKER_06 12:36

I would really prefer not to have that happen.

SPEAKER_00 12:39

And there was there's not a 24-hour Walgreens in the city in which we live, in the area in which we live, in Detroit. Um Detroit? And so it was a 30-minute drive to the nearest 24-hour Walgreens. And so I slapped Max in my in my caddy, and we like he'd only been living with us for a couple a couple weeks. Yeah, like I did not know him very well.

SPEAKER_06 13:07

Yeah, we hadn't we were not like buds really.

SPEAKER_00 13:10

We were just so we had this nice, nice long drive, and uh Did you just leave her at the house? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:19

So wait, so then you fucking gummy wormed the condom off your dick. Correct. You you didn't bust, did you bust? I don't know. Questionable. That was that was the question. Is that it was unclear.

SPEAKER_06 13:30

It just wasn't worth the chance. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 13:32

Yeah. So you so after gummy worming the condom off your cock and putting it inside of this lady who is this beautiful lady, which by the way, I now understand through through very tiny cues that I picked up on from the way that Max was telling a story that you, the audience, wouldn't understand, but me personally, I understand because I know Max. Um, she wasn't fat, she was addicted to crack. So that was what it was. She became addicted to crack. She didn't get fat. And you know what, audience? I'm sorry for assuming, and it's not even a bad thing to be fat. You know what? I take that back.

unknown 14:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:03

But now I understand that she since high school, when she met Max, horribly addicted to crack, had three kids. Okay, I understand now. Well, I wouldn't say she was addicted, but she had the taste.

SPEAKER_06 14:13

You know what I mean? She tasted like crack? Uh no, she had the taste for crack, where she needed to just be a chance. Wait, she was actually on crack? No, no, absolutely not. No. No.

SPEAKER_02 14:24

Now I'm confused.

SPEAKER_06 14:25

She's a mother of three. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 14:27

Okay. So am I.

SPEAKER_06 14:29

Hey, congratulations, dude. It's not true. I don't know. Congratulations.

SPEAKER_00 14:35

No, it's not true. What are their names and ages? My um What are their names and ages?

SPEAKER_02 14:43

My immediate, my immediate uh first thought went to some like not white people names. Okay, that's kind of fucked up.

SPEAKER_00 14:54

We're gonna cut that out. What are the names and ages? Well, Vinna's POC, man.

SPEAKER_06 14:58

Vina's, you know, native, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:00

Because I was gonna say like Muhammad.

SPEAKER_06 15:03

Oh, okay. Oh, that's cool.

SPEAKER_02 15:05

Oh, your son's a prophet.

SPEAKER_00 15:06

Oh, your children are prophets. Blessed be.

SPEAKER_02 15:09

Maybe we should. Wait, no, but that's not we don't have to cut that.

SPEAKER_00 15:17

Nah, it's fine. Uh can I fucking send it? Well, I mean, I I I was gonna finish it, but if you have more to add, please add.

SPEAKER_06 15:24

Please, no, no, no. You please, please, please, please, please, please. The floor is yours.

SPEAKER_00 15:26

Permission to land. No, I mean, I was I was just gonna say, so then we do this nice long drive to the nearest 30 or 24 hour Walgreens. Max buys a plan B and we get back and we come inside, and I'm like, Max, he's he's like, Thank you so much, dude. I owe you my life. And and I was like, that's a Wookiee life debt. And so Max owes me his life.

SPEAKER_06 15:54

I've paid half of the Wookie Life. Yeah, we're down, right?

SPEAKER_00 15:57

Yeah, we are. How did you pay half? Well, so we're down to we're down to half. I'm really pissed you fucking remember that because I was really hoping you'd forget. Um one day I really wanted Culver's cheese curds. So I told Max that he could cash in half his Wookie Life dad for a large Culver's cheesecurd, which really lets you know how much I value Max's life. Um fried cheese.

SPEAKER_02 16:22

It's at least it's at least a large cheesecurd.

SPEAKER_06 16:27

Wait, yeah. So my my life to you, if you were to split it in half, uh-huh is worth two large boxes of cheese curds?

SPEAKER_00 16:37

But I you know, I would really say that it's more of like I used like maybe like two percent of the Wookie Life debt, but that's just like my first. I can I only get two shots. You know, so like half. So like the next one, yeah, but it's like half in the sense of like half of my uses of the Wookie Life Debt ability, but I'm still at 98% on the meter.

SPEAKER_06 16:58

Oh, okay, I get what you're saying. Yeah, like you value me more than two large boxes of cheese curds, is what you mean.

SPEAKER_00 17:03

Yeah, you're at least like like 150,000 culverts cheese curds, I would say. So like so, like the other the next the next part of your Wookie Life Debt's gonna be equivalent in value to like um you know, like one hundred forty-nine thousand nine hundred and ninety-eight culverse cheese curds.

SPEAKER_06 17:27

Kind of that's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me. I'm worth that many cheese curds to you? I'll always let you know how much fried cheese you're worth to me, dog. I I don't know, man. I just think I might love you.

SPEAKER_02 17:42

This is this is fucking beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 17:44

This is fucking beautiful.

SPEAKER_06 17:45

Remember when we played poker and you were looking good?

SPEAKER_00 17:48

Yeah, dude. You were lusting after me while we were.

SPEAKER_02 17:51

I was lusting is pretty Max, were you there for the last were you there for the last poker night? I don't know.

SPEAKER_06 17:59

I was there for the house in September. Wait, at whose house? Yeah, that was last one. Or August. Yeah, yes. Yes, yeah. How do you not remember that, dude?

SPEAKER_00 18:09

You showed me where the magic is made. Yeah, and Max wouldn't shut the fuck up. He kept on screaming to wake up uh your neighbor's baby.

SPEAKER_06 18:16

Well, I was going like this.

SPEAKER_00 18:21

That's pretty good. Could you imagine could you imagine sitting there? You're next to this dude that you're about to bone, he makes a biblically accurate baby cry, and you're still like, I'm a fucking tab. That's happening right now. Yeah. That's happening right now.

SPEAKER_02 18:36

What's her name? No, you don't have to say it. Yeah, hey, let's let's just Respucia.

SPEAKER_06 18:43

That was one of my other baby. That was one of the other names that came to my end. That I we maybe need to cut, but I just need to say it because you guys would probably find it fun. Okay. Is that I basically requested if I could watch her take the plan B.

SPEAKER_02 19:00

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 19:01

Why does this part need to be cut out? I almost was like, Oh god, I can't believe I had this thought. But I almost asked her, like, no, open up your mouth. Let me see. Open your tongue. Like a baby who's like not, or like a child who isn't taking their meds and their mama's mad. I almost did that. And I was like, That's cool. Holy fuck.

SPEAKER_00 19:22

That was that was the salt talking for sure, dude.

SPEAKER_06 19:25

That was the salt. That was the salt in the vodka talking, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:28

Yeah. Open your mouth. Open your mouth. You guys know who OG Mudbone is. Yeah, I've heard of him. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, man.

unknown 19:36

Open your mouth!

SPEAKER_06 19:37

Oh, open your mouth! Sorry, I keep going. Kyna, you have to know OG Mudbone. That guy comes gallons of milk.

SPEAKER_00 19:42

No, I'd I know him so thoroughly and intricately. Um, he's literally the icon for my Discord.

SPEAKER_06 19:53

Wait, really?

SPEAKER_00 19:54

Yeah, that's OG Mudbone.

SPEAKER_02 19:56

Dude, that's not OG Mudbone.

SPEAKER_06 19:58

That's not OG Mudbone.

SPEAKER_00 19:59

Yeah, it's not OG Mudbone when I see him.

SPEAKER_02 20:01

No, it's not.

SPEAKER_00 20:03

That's OG Mudbone. That's like the most iconic picture of OG Mudbone.

SPEAKER_06 20:07

That's not the one.

SPEAKER_00 20:10

Yeah. I don't know, it was your shit. It is, man. It's tight. That is OG. Are you guys being for real or in like not recognizing him?

SPEAKER_06 20:23

I don't think that's him. I think it's just another large man.

SPEAKER_02 20:27

No. Kind of racist, dude. Kind of racist of you, Connor.

SPEAKER_06 20:33

I can show you, man. No, it's cool. We believe you, man. Do you really? Oh yeah, man. We believe. Yeah, we totally believe you, man. Do you really? Revani?

SPEAKER_02 20:42

Oh hold on, let me look at his IMDB.

SPEAKER_06 20:47

He has one of those? Dude, porn has been a good thing. Yeah, dude. He was in, he was in.

SPEAKER_02 20:51

Dude, freaks. He was in Freaks of Cock. Freaks of Cock 2. Freaks of Cock. Freaks of Cock 2. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 20:58

Dude, you can buy you can buy an OG Mudbone flag off of German Amazon.

SPEAKER_02 21:05

I just don't think that's OG Mudbone. I'm looking at pictures of OG Mudbone right now, and that just doesn't, it doesn't equate. It doesn't look like him at all. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:11

It's not like the first thing that you see when you look up OG Mudbone.

SPEAKER_02 21:16

I don't know. Well, no, you see some other stuff, I think.

SPEAKER_06 21:21

Like Milton. Seriously.

SPEAKER_02 21:25

No, you're right. It is the first. Oh. I think that I think that a lot of people are horribly incorrect. It doesn't look like him, though. It doesn't muslim at all. He is dead. Yeah, he doesn't like it. OG Mudbone is dead. What? Yeah. Yeah, like a while ago. Too much blood was flowing to his wiener instead of his brain.

SPEAKER_00 21:41

I think he did actually have a heart attack.

SPEAKER_06 21:43

That almost happened to me when I was a baby. Shit was too thick.

SPEAKER_00 21:48

You're telling me that this guy wait, you're saying you had such a huge baby cack that you almost Yeah, but a small hole.

SPEAKER_02 21:58

Such is life. Say more into the show. I also want you guys to know that my other two kids' name is my other two kids' names is Raspucia and Gertrude. So it's gonna be Mohammed Respucia and Gertrude.

SPEAKER_00 22:10

Okay. What are their ages?

SPEAKER_02 22:13

One, two, and three.

SPEAKER_00 22:14

Nice. Nice dude. Irish trick.

SPEAKER_02 22:17

That's not OG Mudbone. What? Look at this. Look at this.

SPEAKER_06 22:24

Um, can I get some fire reacts to that, please?

SPEAKER_02 22:27

Are you telling me that this guy thank you? Are you telling me that this guy? How'd you do two? Oh, you did it yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 22:38

Yeah. These are two different people. Unsure. It is unclear to me if OG Mudbone.

SPEAKER_02 22:46

They look comp they look completely different. These two people. This is actually OG Mudbone in the middle of a fucking shoot. This is the guy. They don't even have the same tattoos. I'm really tattoos. Look at that.

SPEAKER_06 23:01

They don't even know. People can get new tattoos, though.

SPEAKER_02 23:05

Yeah, but the old tattoos on his left arm isn't even there.

SPEAKER_06 23:09

That is not, you're right. That that that one's OG Mudbone. No, this is OG Mudbone.

SPEAKER_02 23:15

This guy.

SPEAKER_06 23:15

This guy, yes.

SPEAKER_02 23:16

This is OG Mudbone. This is him from the middle of a shoot. That's OG Mudbone. This is a different black dude. The tattoos aren't the same.

SPEAKER_00 23:22

Yeah, that's a different guy. No, that's not.

SPEAKER_02 23:25

These are two different people. You cannot convince me that these are the same dudes. I know.

SPEAKER_00 23:29

That's like it's it's like an iconic photo. There's you can find a YouTube. Look down at the air freshener.

SPEAKER_01 23:38

A little lower. Sorry. Look at that. This is OG Mudbone. This is these are not the same person. I'm seeing the same thing. The tattoos are not the same.

SPEAKER_06 23:52

Now play with me for a sec here.

SPEAKER_02 23:56

We'll continue this. We'll continue this conversation another day. Yeah. What do you think beef sesh is? Beef sesh, Minecraft beef sesh, probably like another way of just talking about J and Down. Do you think it's like Cobblem? As most things are.

SPEAKER_00 24:14

But it's beef sesh.

SPEAKER_02 24:16

Most of life is pulling put. As most things are on this podcast, it usually somehow manages to be a euphemism for spanking the hog.

SPEAKER_06 24:24

That's true. And that's why my mother can never listen to the show. Oh, speaking of which, I got a great story for you guys. So over Christmas, excuse me, we my mom f found what she thought was a funny and light-hearted game called Horrible Therapist. That is a card game that is it's kind of like apples to apples-esque, basically.

SPEAKER_00 24:49

Oh, so like cards against humanity too.

SPEAKER_06 24:51

Yeah, totally, totally. But like the example they use in the box is something like the joke is like, oh, the reason I was late is because I I hit a priest with my car. Or it's like, you know what I mean? It wasn't too nasty.

SPEAKER_08 25:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 25:06

Yeah. And then we play the game, and we play one round, and quickly realize, oh, this is bad. This is not a game I can play with my family. This feels wrong. And then we get to the second round where my mom is the one who's like, you know, reading the answer cards.

SPEAKER_00 25:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 25:25

And we're sitting next to each other, my sweet old mother.

SPEAKER_00 25:28

Sweet.

SPEAKER_06 25:29

And I turn over and I see, I don't remember what the actual answer on the card was, but there was a little drawing of like a whiteboard that said big old pussy. And I just put my fucking head in my hands and said, No. No, we are we cannot play this game any further. My mom should never have to know that those were that's even a combo. She shouldn't have to know that. She does know that.

SPEAKER_00 25:57

Now well, she knew that. Do you have to explain to her what a bushy is? She knew it before.

SPEAKER_06 26:02

I literally took the card out of her hands and said, We're not playing anymore.

SPEAKER_00 26:05

It's done. I don't know why you're trying to shield her from things that she's been exposed to. She's seen my B.O.B. She hasn't seen you B.O.B.

SPEAKER_07 26:12

kind of that is we pretend like airplanes and night's nice nice. Judith!

SPEAKER_05 26:24

Sorry, when I hear B.O.B. Yeah, no, that's that's beautiful, man.

SPEAKER_06 26:28

What's that one?

SPEAKER_05 26:29

What's that one like?

SPEAKER_06 26:30

Do you guys know I met him? Did we already we talk about that on the pod? I don't think you met B.O.B. You met the notorious B.O.B. Yeah. I did. Early on in my I did make a fool of myself. It's one of my biggest regrets in the whole world. So B.O.B. played at the place where I am employed. And he was like, he hung out after and said what's up to a lot of people. And I said, like, hey, my name's Max, big fan. And he had lit up a blunt and he was like, Oh, nice to meet you, man. You want to hit this? And I said, No, I'm scared of weed. And that's that's the only chance I'm ever gonna get. Ever. To smoke a blunt with BOB.

SPEAKER_00 27:10

And I yeah, fucking fudged it, dude.

SPEAKER_02 27:14

Should have just hit that shit.

SPEAKER_06 27:16

I know I should have just hit that shit and then went to my bed and thought about the void and should have been like Oh, I remember that time in third grade when they ripped my peehole because it was too small. I have a small hole. Stop! Sorry. Sorry.

SPEAKER_02 27:28

I hate thinking about the peehole. Ripping it.

SPEAKER_00 27:31

Is it just like out and staring at you right now, dude? You just got a peehole on the brain. Yeah, you got a peehole on the brain. My hole? Yeah.

unknown 27:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:39

No, it's tucked. No, I'm tucked. Oh, it's tucked? Fully?

SPEAKER_07 27:43

Yeah, I'm tucking.

SPEAKER_00 27:44

That's cool, man. You know what's in tape? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:47

When he when he offered you a hit of the blunt, you should have been like, you should have been like, I'll have your time traveling.

SPEAKER_03 27:56

Have your mind babbling. People trying to skill so that you're asking me.

SPEAKER_02 28:01

And then put your face.

SPEAKER_00 28:04

And then cross him.

unknown 28:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:06

Give him a case.

SPEAKER_03 28:06

Even David Blaine had to go and take some classes in. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_06 28:11

I do. And then I'd be like, and I got the magic in me. And then I'd rip his pee hole. Oh.

SPEAKER_02 28:19

And then he'd fucking kill you.

SPEAKER_06 28:21

Did you know that he was a big believer in flat Earth and spent like I think it's like nine million dollars to send uh a satellite into space to take pictures of Earth because he didn't believe that science was real and then he never talked about it again. He did believe in magic. It is so awesome that you can have that much money and be that. I don't want to say foolish, right?

SPEAKER_02 28:52

Because I don't want to hurt anybody's belief system, but if you listen to this podcast and you're a flat earther, fuck you. You're an idiot. Fuck you. Spend that million dollars, idiot. Bob B. O B. What's his real name? What's Bob's real name? Bobby. Bobby Ray Simmons Jr., you're a fucking idiot and a trash man.

SPEAKER_07 29:14

Whoa, hold on, hold on, hold on.

SPEAKER_02 29:16

For thinking the earth was flat. He makes good songs, man. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. How did you say that?

SPEAKER_06 29:26

Yeah, no, that was it. It is a pretty impressive way to spend nine million.

SPEAKER_03 29:33

I got the magic in me.

SPEAKER_02 29:40

Um, I have a question. What's up? What do you got? What uh position do you think I was conceived in off of my vibes? Because I gave both of you uh an answer, and neither of that was for me. Uh and I'm gonna say for the audience right now, Max was conceived belly-to-belly missionary lasting approximately four minutes, 23 seconds, and his mom did not reach climax. Connor was reverse cowgirl, but neither came. He was just conceived from pre-come leakage. That was Oh, he was gummy worm.

SPEAKER_00 30:14

Do you really think you really think that both of us give off? Like, I personally, I think that both of you were conceived by parents that came. And I feel like it's I feel like it's a it's an affront to say that I was conceived by parents that didn't come.

SPEAKER_02 30:35

My parents left bones and paper skin.

SPEAKER_06 30:38

Dude, my parents can't come when they have sex, okay? They do.

SPEAKER_02 30:45

Okay, dude, fucking sticking tired of you. Don't talk about the girl.

SPEAKER_06 30:49

They come like crazy. They come all over the place.

SPEAKER_02 30:53

Listen, I usually don't say this during a podcast, but I think this has to be one of my worst performances yet. This is bad. I think it's very funny. We're gonna have to take the whole episode.

SPEAKER_00 31:06

I don't want to think about it. I I think I I mean I know from judging on the I've acted out how Max was conceived with both parties. Oh so I know that the same time. Yes, yeah. Oh, I I know that it was sex swing eight hours.

SPEAKER_07 31:39

Nope, nope, nope, nope.

SPEAKER_00 31:41

Ivy full of oatmeal. And more time coming than not coming.

SPEAKER_06 31:52

That's a lot of coming. If you're talking about an eight-hour session, a majority is coming.

SPEAKER_02 31:56

That's at least four hours and one minute of coming.

SPEAKER_06 31:59

It's because the oatmeal really helps facilitate things. Dude, if I still had a small hole and I had to come for four hours, I'd fucking I'd probably send a nine million dollar satellite to space just to make sure there wasn't.

SPEAKER_00 32:17

Vinny, Vinny, you were conceived in the back of a Ford F-150 that was driving on the highway 78 miles per hour and it was 30 seconds.

SPEAKER_02 32:29

Wow. That's actually close.

SPEAKER_06 32:32

Based off your vibes, I think you were conceived in the same movie theater that Pee Wee Herman got caught jerking off in.

SPEAKER_02 32:42

Well Pee Wee, what's the guy's name? CK Louis C.K. or whatever? Louis C. K. Oh, Louis C.K. Is that the guy who jerked off in front of people?

SPEAKER_06 32:53

Yeah, that is. But Pee Wee Herman got was a children's show host. If you guys know about this. And he jerked off in a fucking movie theater? Yeah, I mean, it was a pornographic movie theater, to be fair to him in a little bit, which is kind of I just was always confused by that concept. Like, why would you go see a porno, but you can't jade out?

SPEAKER_02 33:11

Right.

SPEAKER_06 33:11

We can have a longie.

SPEAKER_02 33:14

Yeah. Sorry, I got Pee Wee Herman and Louis C.K. mixed up. I gotta look this guy up. Dude! There's a picture. There's a picture of Pee Wee Erman that looks like he's looking into your asshole.

SPEAKER_06 33:31

He's seeing Christmas tree only has the goatee ornaments like Connor posted.

SPEAKER_02 33:37

This picture of Pee Wee Erman looks like you spread your asshole open. He's looking inside and going, what you got in there? I would like to save it, but recently my files app has been malfunctioning. My file explorer is not responding. Oh. Oh, it's responding. Guys, look at this picture of Pee Wee Herman looking like he's looking down your butthole. Editor, put this on screen. Editor. Editor, put this on screen. Editor. Where is he back? Put this on screen. There we are.

SPEAKER_06 34:10

Oh, he's in the that's that's that's a goat seed, dude. That's a goat seed, dude. Ah. He's making the melon making the Stalin ab lib. He's got to be. That's just like a prop day camp.

SPEAKER_00 34:22

It's just like the Christmas goat sea.

SPEAKER_02 34:24

Yeah. It's just like it's literally just like the goat's goatsy. Is this on a real tree that you saw in real life?

SPEAKER_00 34:30

No, no. I mean, aspirationally, yes, that's my future Christmas tree, but no, not Christmas.

SPEAKER_06 34:36

This is like a vision board for my future Christmas tree.

SPEAKER_00 34:45

Pee-wee's gonna be a busy tapper.

SPEAKER_02 34:47

Did you saw Goatsyfire?

SPEAKER_06 34:51

I think we need to do that next year.

SPEAKER_02 34:54

Make a goatsey tree?

SPEAKER_06 34:55

Yeah. On the first day of Christmas, my goatsy.

SPEAKER_02 34:58

My goatsy gave to me a prolabse dynast for thee.

SPEAKER_06 35:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:06

I got the magic in me. No saying.

SPEAKER_06 35:11

You guys ever get prolapsed? No.

SPEAKER_00 35:14

No. No, I think I've I've definitely danced with the devil, but you know.

SPEAKER_07 35:20

She danced with the devil. Never quite. Like you have a meta technique song, you say? No, no, no.

SPEAKER_00 35:27

No, no, no. He wrote that song about that song about you. Um. No, I mean, I mean that I've, you know, I've I've edged, but I've never crossed the bridge.

SPEAKER_02 35:43

Wait, you've edged prolapsing your asshole?

SPEAKER_00 35:45

I've just I've gotten close. That's what I'm trying to say. Is that I've dabbled, but I've never like, you know, I've just I've felt things get I I've pushed too hard and felt myself approach the sound berries.

SPEAKER_02 36:01

I'm feeling some stuff maybe move. I saw one time I ate too many tornadoes from a gas station.

SPEAKER_06 36:07

Delicious.

SPEAKER_02 36:08

And I went to take a shit, and it literally felt like my asshole popped out of my my asshole. That's that's I've never felt such a sharp, violent pain. It felt like my poop like it felt like it fucking it felt like it shot forward almost towards my balls. It was the weirdest feeling of my life, and it was really painful. And I thought I prolapsed my asshole, but I didn't.

SPEAKER_00 36:32

See, I I what I'm describing is like a similar experience. It wasn't necessarily painful, it just was like, oh, I'm scared. And then I had to dial it back a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 36:41

Yeah. Did your did you did you hear your asshole go?

SPEAKER_00 36:46

Oh no. It was hard to hear over my screams.

SPEAKER_02 36:53

My biggest fear, my biggest fear is um kidney stones. Just so everyone knows.

SPEAKER_06 37:00

That's what you guys about Old Thunder Mountain, the secret hack? Yes. I don't know if we talked about this yet, but so there's a well-kept, maybe not secret.

SPEAKER_00 37:11

Yeah, it's not. I don't think it's a secret because I think it's not a secret. I think Charlie's doctor told him about it when he got kidney stones. Did he really? Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 37:19

Apparently there's many reports of doctors telling you to do this, but there's a ride at Disney World in Orlando, Florida, called Old Thunder Mountain. And it is apparently known throughout the staff that if if someone asks to be put in the back row, that they are there to try and help shake a kidney stone loose. And there are multiple reports of doctors saying you could do this, you could also go to Orlando, Florida, and Disney World ride on the back of Bathroom Mountain. Which is just amazing. And then it begs the question: what other medical secrets are being hidden in the Disney World Orlando, Florida parks? Does Crash Mountain cure I don't know? Erectile dysfunction?

SPEAKER_02 38:06

The inside of the Epcot ball makes your makes your penis grow four times larger.

SPEAKER_06 38:12

I once almost got kicked out of Disney World because that ride, you can just jump out. You can just jump out and go walk around with so the inside of the Epcot Ball is a ride that is like uh uh passage through time. It like goes through a bunch of different historical shits and whatever. Okay. I can't remember what it's called, but it's not the carousel of progress, but it's something like that. And the you do have no seat though. It's a really slow-moving ride. So me and my friends, when we were like in high school, jumped out and started like doing little dances with the animatronics, and then jumped back in the cart. And then pretty close to the end of the ride, the ride stopped, and a security person was like, Hey, did you guys jump out of the car? And we were like, not me. And then when we got off the ride, somehow they didn't throw us out right then and there. It was weird. But we got off the ride, and then there was like literally 10 security people waiting at like the exit of the ride, and we just ran out.

SPEAKER_00 39:05

You and a bunch of friends from high school went to Disney World?

SPEAKER_06 39:09

Yeah, I was in Shoguire. Oh, really? You guys are familiar.

SPEAKER_02 39:13

It's pretty for four years. Were you fucking really for four years?

SPEAKER_06 39:18

I was also in every musical and play. Me too. Well, I was until I got arrested as a senior in high school and got kicked out.

SPEAKER_02 39:26

What the fuck? Why don't I not know about that?

SPEAKER_06 39:29

Well, I was selling booty. I don't know. Yeah, I had a bunch of weed on me. I got arrested. Whoa, whoa. Yeah, it's dunk. It was really funny too, because we were in the police station and I had a bottle of vodka and a scale and baggies and weed on me, and they pulled out the bottle of like I don't even know if it was vodka, it was some type of liquor, and it said Max's shit with tape on it. And they were like, Is this yours? And I was like, Yeah, it's my shit. And we all had a little laugh.

SPEAKER_00 39:58

And they like that.

SPEAKER_02 40:00

And they were like, You're alright, man, we'll let you off easy, okay? And they were like, uh, what about a fine? Give me some scary.

SPEAKER_06 40:09

If I would have got dapped up by that cop, we'd be cops like, let me fucking, you know what?

SPEAKER_02 40:13

Let me roll, let me roll one of those up for you. You ever thought about making a podcast? Yeah, well, no. I feel like 47 years old. I'm 29. And I'm gonna be bald. That's true. How do you feel?

SPEAKER_06 40:33

Uh I'm scared. I'm very scared. I think it's gonna grow back though. I'm doing okay. Does Clomantha know about this?

SPEAKER_00 40:38

You're doing the fryer?

SPEAKER_06 40:40

I have to I did make a mistake the other day and say, yeah, I'll take the extension, even though the extension is not gonna do me any good. Means nothing. At all. So the original challenge was to have it done by like the change of the year, right? But the League of Legends season goes until the 7th. And you guys know what we're doing on the 6th. So like I'm gonna be busy. You know? And um What the fuck are we doing on the 6th? January 6th?

SPEAKER_00 41:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 41:14

You know, you know, we got some U-Hauls rented.

SPEAKER_00 41:17

You're in the WhatsApp group chat.

SPEAKER_06 41:19

Yeah, you're in the WhatsApp group chat. That's right.

SPEAKER_02 41:21

Oh. Dude, you know my apartment, my unit number on my apartment is J7. Like, I'm already locked in before you.

SPEAKER_06 41:28

You're ready to you're ready to roll, brother. But um, yeah, so I took the I I have an extension until the season ends, but the stipulation is that I have to do a fryer tuck haircut for a week if I don't make it. And I don't know if you guys are familiar with the fryer tuck, but basically it's a bowl cut when then the top is also missing. So you just have like a halo around your head. You're gonna look fucked up, dude. I'm gonna look fucked up. Yeah, I'm need to buy some hats, is what I'm thinking. No, dude, you gotta shove on it. I don't own a single hat. I have a helmet.

SPEAKER_00 42:00

That'd be cool. That'd be cool if you wore the helmet.

SPEAKER_06 42:04

That'd be cool. That'd be cool. Yeah, it's gonna suck ass. But I don't know, Timothy Chalomet, Marty Supreme, he looks cool.

SPEAKER_00 42:12

He's not he's not bald in Marty Supreme.

SPEAKER_06 42:16

Yeah, right, but his like in his promo, in his marketing tour, he has a shaved head.

SPEAKER_00 42:20

Yeah, he's a shaved head. And also, Max. In what world do you look like Timothy fucking Chalomade dog?

SPEAKER_06 42:27

Like in no world, but if he's cool, maybe the world will think I'm cool with a shaved head. I don't know. Step one, you're really gonna think.

SPEAKER_02 42:36

I have nothing, dude. I'm in silver fucking four, dude! Okay, dude, you know what you have, you know what you do have? A small peep small a small hole. I have a small hole. That's right. You also have a woman in your apartment right now. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 42:51

Why in the cage, right? Bringing it up. It's not that big. No, absolutely not. There's no one in a cage in my apartment.

SPEAKER_02 42:57

I'm actually, dude, you want to know why? I'm like, I keep I'm sorry for bringing it up. I'm just like so I don't know. Confirming you're not in a cage, please. No. I'm just saying, like the reason that I keep bringing it up, dude, is like just because I'm so happy, I'm so excited to know that like you're letting her out of the basement more than like more than usual. She's usually in the basement locked in a cage, and it's dark and damp, and down there there's cockroaches and rats down there that share pizza, and she has to sit there and watch the meat, and you have to come down and babybird feed her whenever you want to.

SPEAKER_06 43:28

Wait, there's cockroaches and rats that share pizza. Are there maybe four turtles that are kind of big and named after artists? What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_00 43:34

The cockroaches don't serve pizza.

SPEAKER_02 43:37

What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_00 43:38

The rats serve the pizza. The cockroaches bring the drinks.

SPEAKER_02 43:42

I'm confused. The cockroaches are bartenders.

SPEAKER_06 43:45

The rat is the cook. He's a sous chef.

SPEAKER_02 43:47

You told me a rat fried this rice? You tell me a rather crab ran this goon?

SPEAKER_06 43:55

I've never heard that one. That one's good.

SPEAKER_02 43:57

So yeah, I'm sorry, I I'll stop. I'll stop bringing up Clomantha. I just didn't know that like you kept I didn't know she was allowed out of the basement.

SPEAKER_06 44:05

Clomantha's fine. Everything's fine. I'm sorry. Hey, so I want to point to a picture that Connor posted where it's a man, it looks like he's in a VR headset and it's got a little thought bubble. I'll pull it out there that says I'll pull it. Put this up, please. Put this up. Yep. So they're all seeing the image. Um Harry Potter movies plus porn. You got an Ivy Drip of Wine, you got a heroin box, I guess.

SPEAKER_00 44:36

It's also like an Ivy drip.

SPEAKER_06 44:38

Yeah, right. And then you have an auto masturbator, of course, synced up to the Harry Potter movies. Not the porn. And one person is saying, oh, this is kind of weird. And one person says, oh my god, that people enjoy things. Now the photo is really base level commentary, social commentary. But the reason I want to bring it up is because you said this is Max. It is. It is. I don't just to clear some things up for the people at home. I don't have an auto masturbator. I've never done heroin.

SPEAKER_00 45:15

Okay. Okay, but but like you're telling me, you're telling me that if you had these items, this would be you 24/7. Harry Potter movies plus porn, that's already on your second and third monitor 24-7. That's on the bear headset. Like he's slapping the bag. You're always slapped the bag. You're always fucking slapping the bag. I've slapped the bag before. And the auto masturbator, you don't have one yet, but that's aspirational.

SPEAKER_06 45:46

It's just like your Christmas tree. Yeah. This is where this is where I see myself next year, probably.

SPEAKER_00 45:51

Yeah, like I have a chair like that in my basement. I don't have heroin or an auto-masturbator, but if you bring the wine and the movies and porn, could you wear one for me by the time I move?

SPEAKER_02 46:02

Replace wine with vodka, heroin with Adderall, Auto Masturbator with Clamantha. Okay. And this is gonna be you. And this is you.

SPEAKER_06 46:19

Okay. Um kind of. Um well I don't have I haven't watched the Harry Potter movies in a long time. That's what he started. That's what he started. Well, I mean, the other stuff is like, I don't know, just like dabble. Maybe a little bit based in reality. Who knows? I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 46:43

It's not, it's not. We're poking fun, dude. Don't don't validate this. That's the name of the podcast. This is not you, Max. This is not you. This isn't you. This isn't you. Every time you touch that track, it turns into gold. This isn't you.

SPEAKER_06 46:59

And everybody knows you've got the magic in you. And the earth is flat.

SPEAKER_02 47:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 47:04

No. I said it here first. Vino co-stamped it, Connor also co-stamped it, the earth is flat. That's what we believe in this podcast. This is true, this is true, this is how we feel.

SPEAKER_00 47:13

Max, you can't speak to it.

SPEAKER_06 47:14

I'm going to kill myself. I can speak for I speak for the trees.

SPEAKER_00 47:19

Yeah, the heroin trees.

SPEAKER_06 47:21

I'm the Borat. The exhumage.

SPEAKER_00 47:26

Nice. Thank you. That's pretty good, dude. Can you do like a can you do a long form Borat impression? Wow. Wow. I'm the king of the castle.

SPEAKER_02 47:39

That was actually really good. That was actually really good. You can't like it.

SPEAKER_06 47:44

You you fucked my mother! That's what he says on the car scene. I don't know. Uh why did it go silent? Hey guys. What? Hey, yopes. Hey, did I cut out? What's going on? Hey, hey. What's up? Hey.

SPEAKER_02 47:58

I was sending a message. I was sending a message. Oh. What do you mean L?

SPEAKER_00 48:03

No, I mean that's that's an L of love that Love That.

SPEAKER_02 48:09

Okay, dude. Better be.

SPEAKER_00 48:12

Yeah. No, I think that's got the magic, baby. I've got the magic.

SPEAKER_03 48:18

The magic.

SPEAKER_06 48:22

Well, Connor, I do have a question for you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 48:26

Why did you say that so hungered almost? Oh my god, Max, you've been streaming this whole time. No. Okay. Have I? No.

SPEAKER_06 48:37

No. That would be awesome. What were we gonna say? What were you gonna say? That would be awesome. Oh, what is uh so you used a statement on December today? That is I'm busting Prez before you record, so I might be closer to seven. What is busting?

SPEAKER_02 48:49

Yeah, I was wondering what that fucking my assumption was that you were opening presents.

SPEAKER_00 48:54

Yeah, yeah, no, I was busting prez with my fans.

SPEAKER_06 48:57

I thought I meant you were cracking the president.

SPEAKER_00 49:00

No, I mean aspirational for sure. That's next year.

SPEAKER_06 49:04

That's next year with the Gunsy Tree and the and the Auto Masturbator and yeah, yeah, for sure. Aspirational. You were busting pre Christmas is oh dude, boxing day's over.

SPEAKER_00 49:15

Yeah, no, um we do this thing. Um where we just have rescheduled Boxing Day to the day before New Year's Eve every year.

SPEAKER_06 49:31

But what do you do on Christmas?

SPEAKER_02 49:33

What the fuck is Boxing Day?

SPEAKER_00 49:35

Well, I mean after Christmas. Christmas is still in place. And Boxing Day, I mean I still observe Boxing Day with like my uh traditionally as it is observed traditionally with my aunts and uncles and no one else.

SPEAKER_06 49:47

I'm a conscientious objector to Boxing Day. I serve time like Muhammad Ali. Wow.

SPEAKER_00 49:55

You're just like I always sit here, I'm like, Max, you're so much like Muhammad Ali, dude.

SPEAKER_06 50:00

You're like a boxer. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 50:02

Dude, aren't your aren't your parents British loyalists? No, kind of.

SPEAKER_06 50:07

My family were British loyalists. That's right. That's right. They were British loyalists. They had to they had to go to Canada, they were gonna be tarred and feathered.

SPEAKER_02 50:16

Dude, you're fucking They left from the beautiful city of Detroit. Where we are advert your uh your hatred for Boxing Day makes sense. It's like it's like deeply written into your it's like deeply written into your your DNA because it used to be Boxing Day, I just looked this up, originated as a day for the wealthy to give Christmas boxes to servants and the poor as things for their year-on service in the UK. So it makes sense.

SPEAKER_06 50:42

Most of the time it was just like scraps from their Christmas dinner.

SPEAKER_02 50:46

You know that baked into your DNA as a British loyalist to hate despise Boxing Day. I get it. Well, yeah, because I'm an American.

SPEAKER_00 50:56

Well, no, Boxing Day was baked in because your ancestors were so mad they had to give up their precious scraps to these stupid fuckers.

SPEAKER_05 51:06

No, they give up the good scraps.

SPEAKER_00 51:08

That hatred and all hands.

SPEAKER_02 51:11

They're giving up the good scraps.

SPEAKER_06 51:13

I look back at our family record. I don't think my family had servants.

SPEAKER_02 51:20

That's good.

SPEAKER_06 51:21

I'm not sure that we do have a table. My mom has a table in her basement that's called Lord Dunham's Bottom. And it's just a stupid ass table, and apparently it belongs in a museum, and once we got yelled at for touching it.

SPEAKER_02 51:33

Yeah. I remember I remember you talking about that.

SPEAKER_00 51:35

You tapped on Lord. You're always talking about Lord Dunham's bottom and your small hole.

SPEAKER_06 51:39

I'm trying to touch it in my small hole, and they don't let me because it's like I should his his bottom belongs in a museum, I guess. His hole's the right size. I don't know. Best hole. See my brother over the break over cra over cranny. Over cramp. Wait, he's explaining to me about hemorrhoids and where his are.

SPEAKER_00 52:02

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_06 52:03

And like, can you guys do the thing where you like you're making like okay with your hand? Do you know what I mean? They do like a like an okay. Oh no.

SPEAKER_00 52:13

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 52:13

Yeah, he did that, and he was trying to explain to me the placement of his hemorrhoids, and he went, so there's this, and he pointed out the okay thing, and he went, you know what this is. And it's a favorite thing. I've been trying to do it to a bunch of people I really, really am happy about. You know what that is. I see.

SPEAKER_02 52:30

And this, you know what that is. You know what that is. Come on, come on, you know what that is. Come on, dude, stop playing stupid. Don't play stupid. Yeah, you know what that is. Stop playing stupid.

unknown 52:37

You know.

SPEAKER_02 52:39

You guys ever get hemis? Um I've never had a hemi in my life.

SPEAKER_00 52:45

I don't yeah, I don't think I don't think I've suffered from that.

SPEAKER_07 52:48

I don't know if I have or not.

SPEAKER_02 52:51

You have you literally bent over, spread your ass cheeks, and showed us what you're doing. No, we we literally we spotted hemorrhoids.

SPEAKER_00 53:00

I've I saw a polyp or two.

SPEAKER_06 53:02

No one saw a polyp.

SPEAKER_02 53:03

No one saw a hemorrhoid.

SPEAKER_06 53:04

I went you counting how many. I went is that how many honeys I had?

unknown 53:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 53:14

That's actually how many times I came in my fucking pants when you bent over and showed me your page.

SPEAKER_06 53:19

Your refactory period is low. Cherry red butthole.

SPEAKER_02 53:24

Cherry red prolapse. Had like flakes in there and it was just scarred into my fucking cherry red butthole. I'm going to see that. When I'm dying on my deathbed or horribly into a car crash because I can't stop drunk driving, I'm going to be like, I'm going to get a flash of memories. And a part of my flash of those memories is there, your butthole is going to be somewhere in those like fucking memories as my life flashing from my eyes. Your butthole is going to be there.

SPEAKER_00 53:59

That's going to be what sticks.

SPEAKER_06 54:01

Aren't you guys excited that I'm going to be in the same town as you again and that I can show you my cherry red whenever? I have a gun.

SPEAKER_00 54:09

I'm going to beat the brakes off you, dude, if you fucking flash your cherry red.

SPEAKER_06 54:14

I'm walking around your nice living room and your small bathroom and just flashing my cherry red.

SPEAKER_00 54:19

It is, it is gonna rock, dude, though, that you're gonna be bald because I won't have to be chasing little hairballs all around the house.

SPEAKER_06 54:28

That's true. I don't know if you knew about this, Vinny, but I used to shed a lot of hair and I would make a bunch of hairballs, and I would just chuck them behind our couch.

SPEAKER_00 54:38

Yeah, when we when we moved out, it was it was appalling. Like literally, it looked like there was a different just like shrimp. It was like a genuinely carpet just had like a different strip of carpet on top of it. Oh my god. And it was all little tiny balls of this man's fur.

SPEAKER_06 54:57

Well, hey, good thing is I'm not shedding anymore.

SPEAKER_00 55:00

Well, and you're gonna be bald, so it won't even fucking matter.

SPEAKER_06 55:02

Well, and I'll be bald, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 55:03

So it's all good.

SPEAKER_06 55:04

Yeah, so are you confident it's gonna grow back? Not even a little bit, but I need to tell myself that because I have a soul full of hair. Soul full.

SPEAKER_00 55:16

I think I think it'll it'll grow back. We just need to medicate you heavily.

SPEAKER_06 55:21

Take a lot of Zans. I have a soul full of hair. My friend told me this wise statement. And it's if you ever see a baldy with a baddie, that boy got a soul full of hair.

SPEAKER_00 55:31

Real shit.

SPEAKER_06 55:33

Real shit. I'm saying, hey guys, I'm so sorry. I gotta empty my balls really quick. I'll be right back.

SPEAKER_00 55:39

Oh god.

SPEAKER_06 55:41

Peeing, peeing.

SPEAKER_00 55:42

Okay. She's gonna answer.

SPEAKER_02 55:44

That's where the pea is stored. Oh, and I I just heard Clamantha in the background asking for another piece of bread. And his his uh oh, did you hear that? Did you hear her giggle?

SPEAKER_00 56:06

We are all afraid to say it, dude.

SPEAKER_02 56:10

Abaccio, banana abaccio.

SPEAKER_00 56:17

So you really, you really I don't mean to dwell on this, dude. You really don't think my parents came when they made me.

SPEAKER_02 56:25

No, I really don't, because a powerful orgasm means a powerful baby boy, but you're glass bones and paper skin boy.

SPEAKER_00 56:36

I was I was built improperly.

SPEAKER_02 56:40

And I don't think that has anything to do with like fetal alcohol syndrome or shaking baby syndrome or incest. I don't think it's I don't think it has anything to do with those. Check, check, check. I just think okay. Alright, maybe your dad did have like a powerful, powerful drunken orgasm. Then after you came out.

SPEAKER_06 57:05

What's going on? Dude, you're quick. Yeah, you're fucked in. My walnuts are now cranberries.

SPEAKER_02 57:21

We both just kind of sat there and had to fucking process that one.

SPEAKER_05 57:27

Did it take you guys a second or just not know how to respond?

SPEAKER_00 57:30

Or just that's one to let hang for sure. Gotta let it hang. Let your berries cram.

SPEAKER_06 57:39

Um well, is it time for the press conference?

SPEAKER_02 57:45

I I'm really excited for this press conference. Okay. I'm really excited for this press conference. Not because of the prompt, just because it's been a while since I've press conferenced. Yeah. But I don't know, dude. I've been I'm thinking about everything that I've said this podcast, and I'm just a little unhinged today.

SPEAKER_00 58:04

That's fine, dude. Let her let her at least. I honestly don't buy. Max Max has a premiere masterclass, so I'm gonna be way better at editing eventually.

SPEAKER_02 58:14

Oh, yeah, he told me about that. He was talking about that on stream last night. I I think I'm gonna I'm gonna think I'm gonna sit in on that. We should watch one soon.

SPEAKER_06 58:22

Dude, classmate I'll sit in type shit. There might be some shit that I don't know. We can trade notes. Oh my god. Oh, I I wanna be in school with you guys.

SPEAKER_03 58:32

I wanna be a millionaire. So freaking. Don't swear. Satellite. I never had. I want to be. I want to see if the earth is flat. Flat Earth magazine. Lake King Pussy.

SPEAKER_06 58:51

Next to Tom Cruise and the Queen.

SPEAKER_00 58:54

Dude, what if two very famous flat earthers?

SPEAKER_02 59:02

Oprah is a flat earther, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 59:03

Well, I didn't know this, but there's no Queen of England right now. Do you guys know that?

SPEAKER_02 59:07

And there is no Queen of England. She died.

unknown 59:10

Right.

SPEAKER_06 59:10

There is no Tooth Fairy. There is no Easter Bunny. Shut up. Shut up.

SPEAKER_02 59:15

Shut up. There is. There is, dude. No, there's not. No, there's not. There's about as much Queen of England as there is prolapsed assholes.

SPEAKER_06 59:28

Dude, I got a couple of bucks on the Tooth Fairy the other day.

SPEAKER_03 59:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 59:33

Yeah, I got two babies that are still coming. Coming out. I have two baby teeth. I have two baby teeth. No, you don't. I really do, yeah. There's actually that they're not coming out. There's no adult teeth under them, so they just had to be fortified.

SPEAKER_00 59:47

Wait, wait, actually you have baby teeth in your old man mouth?

SPEAKER_06 59:52

I have two teeth that are still baby teeth.

SPEAKER_00 59:54

Yes, that sounds like a fucking curse. Like they're really little?

SPEAKER_06 1:00:00

No, they're normal size because they were fortified. What does that mean?

SPEAKER_00 1:00:03

What do you mean they're fortified? They like built more.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:06

I don't guys what word what what does fortified mean? You know what I mean? Like how could I be more clear? Bitch ass, I mean, yeah, it's true.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:14

They put some fucking boards on there to make them sturdier or some fucking shit. What do you mean?

SPEAKER_02 1:00:18

I just looked up fortified and there's nothing. And there's nothing.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:24

I don't understand how fortifying them made them work.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:26

Nah, I don't really understand how they did. I think they put caps on them or something.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:29

You're lying through your fucking fortified baby.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:34

Do you remember which teeth they are?

SPEAKER_06 1:00:37

I couldn't tell you.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:38

We'll just have to dig around.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:40

Yeah, we got to play around in there. Find what's what, see what's loose. Take them out, put them under the pillow.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:47

Some excavation.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:52

It's just in. Oh no. Criminal max traffic now being brought to the courtroom. Okay, criminal it's not a courtroom, right? It's a press I don't know.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:01

Hey.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:02

Am I in cuffs? You're in cuffs.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:05

Damn.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:06

Judge. Order! Order! Guilty. Get him out of here. Send him to the press conference room now.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:16

The fucking one of the amendments.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:20

Shut the fuck up! Let him answer. Let him answer to the people. Go! Guilty! Guilty! No! I haven't even been able to plead my case yet. They cross the street to the press conference room. You swing the doors open and they throw you onto the stage. You're cuffed. I want you to know that your one stipulation for this episode is that you're cuffed the entire time. So I understand. No, you are though, because you're a criminal. You're going to prison after this one. I'm a yes, Ander. I'm cuffed. Alright, here is uh here is Mr. Traffic today. Just recently found guilty on one of the biggest court cases in American history. Um, so we'll start, Max. We'll let you have the floor. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:10

Answer I have been brought to court and now thrown into a press conference in front of my peers, and I was the gavel banged and said guilty, and I don't know what crime I was even accused of.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:29

And found guilty for it's me the judge! It's me the judge! Call on me.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:36

Hey, uh I'm taking questions now from the young It's me the judge.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:42

Listen. Hey, Your Honor. Listen, I found you guilty. Right. I'm gonna give you a one in a lifetime chance because I like the way that you I like the way that you like you hold yourself. If you can catch if you can catch this gavel when I throw it to you, I'll find you not guilty on all accounts. Ready? Here we go. Three, two, and one, and he's gonna toss it to you.

unknown 1:03:02

Ah!

SPEAKER_02 1:03:02

I caught it! It falls directly on the ground because your hands are cuffed. How did you even catch it? I dropped it.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:11

So am I still guilty then, Your Honor?

SPEAKER_02 1:03:13

Dude, I gave you a very easy out, but because you're so decrepit and evil, you couldn't even take a moral high ground for that. Guilty! Guilty!

SPEAKER_00 1:03:26

The prosecution moves to double his sentence for the misgavel. What? Oh, dude, you're here too? Absolutely fuck this guy.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:35

Yeah. Okay. Um, can I please hear from the prosecution even Two Life sentences? Okay, two life sentences, good.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:42

Alright, let's go get a you want to go get some swarma, dude?

SPEAKER_06 1:03:45

Absolutely. Get some soter. Alright, yeah. You shut the fuck up. Oh, okay. And may I just Sorry, Your Honor. If I just can ask a question. He's gone. And what was it that I did? Oh, they're already getting swarm? They're gone. The door.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:04

The door the doors are like come comedically swinging like shut, like whoa, whoa. Mr. Traffic, Mr.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:10

Traffic, Mr. Traffic, Mr. Traffick.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:12

Uh, the guy who sounds Mr.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:16

Traffic. It's uh Goblin Daniel from Basement News. Uh hey cowboy Daniel. Goblin?

SPEAKER_06 1:04:26

Oh, I'm so sorry, Goblin Daniel. I heard cowboy.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:29

I didn't mean to uh pronounce your name. Wow, racist on top of everything that he's done, racist too. To what? Cowboys? No, goblins. You fucking make me sick.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:39

Sick. Um hey, uh yes, goblin Daniel. How can I anyway?

SPEAKER_00 1:04:44

I'm just wondering, what are the conditions of your basement?

SPEAKER_06 1:04:48

I don't have a basement, actually. I live on the third floor. Um it's a box, so I well, there's probably a basement in this house. It's a three-unit home, and I'm in the top unit. I'm not sure what the basement looks like. If there is one, if uh yeah, I don't know. I don't, I'm sorry, Goblin Daniel. I don't have an answer for you. And basement news. I know it's kind of like your whole thing, right? But like I got uh I'm I'm stumped. Goblin Daniel pukes on the on the floor, falls over.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:21

Is he okay? Hey uh Mr. Traffic, uh, whenever you get the chance, call me.

SPEAKER_06 1:05:26

Oh yeah. Uh well, can we just check that Goblin Daniel's okay? anybody?

SPEAKER_02 1:05:31

I'm gonna stomp on him with a big boot. No, you caught me now. I got work boots you caught me. It's me boot calling. It's me, construction man uh from from basement construction incorporated. So so we're done. Uh we've just finished the we've just finished renovating the cage you have in your basement that you absolutely are aware of having uh because You paid us 14 million dollars, taxpayer dollars, to renovate your basement to make it even shittier and more dank and gross. Right. Um, so yeah, we're done with that. Uh, how do you want to pay us the last remaining three million dollars for that? Do you guys accept Bitcoin? And then he's gonna take his mask off and it's gonna be the judge again. Oh, so you admit that you are aware that you have a basement and you're about to pay me in Bitcoin to finish renovating it. Fuck you, dude. I was only a scheme question about how cunt struction takes their payment.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:40

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Dude. Is that not you can't say that. Am I waiting?

SPEAKER_04 1:06:46

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:50

The prosecution moves for a third life sentence.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:53

Okay. Yeah, he just said the cunt word. That's so bad. I said your name. I'm I'm the judge. Okay. There was a gaff, dude. You think you really think come on. You really think construction basement construction incorporated? Let's get out of here.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:20

Wait, the judge is stomping out goblin Daniel?

SPEAKER_00 1:07:22

The prosecution is also stomping out Goblin Daniel on the way out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:26

We're stomping on together. You shouldn't do that. No, he likes it. See, say you like it.

unknown 1:07:33

I like it.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:34

Yeah, see, it's okay, it's all legal. It's about bored. It sounds like I'm like, what are you doing?

SPEAKER_06 1:07:38

I like what you did. Oh, right, right, right, right. Um, so can anybody else have questions for me, please? Anybody questions?

SPEAKER_01 1:07:46

Oh, calling me.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:48

Yeah, you guy who sounds like he might be busting.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:50

I'm a girl. I'm a girl.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:52

Oh, sorry. The the woman there who's also sounding like they're busting.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:57

I'm not busting. Why are you such you're such a pig?

unknown 1:08:00

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:00

You're such a pig, you're a little pig boy.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:03

You're a little piggy, aren't you?

SPEAKER_06 1:08:05

I'm a little bit. You're a little piggy. Yeah, I'm I'm waiting. May I ask a question of the judge? She walks up onto the stage and starts playing with your hair. You like that? Um, if I say that I'm a little piggy, do I get a reduced sentence? Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:23

You like that? Don't play with your pulling, huh?

SPEAKER_06 1:08:26

Yeah, I'm a little I'm a little piggy. Yeah, I'm a little piggy and you're pulling on my hair. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:31

What the fuck is going on right now? I don't really know. I don't truly understand why I'm here. Can I pull on it? But I'm a little piggy. You are a little piggy, that's that's true. Okay. Yeah, thank you. Unfortunately, unfortunately, court rules I can't like take back sentences. I can only make them bigger and stronger. So you just humiliated yourself and came in your pants for no reason.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:57

Oh, you like when I pull your hair.

SPEAKER_07 1:08:59

Yeah, I'm a little piggy, and I like when you pull my hair.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:04

Is that you look to the you look to your left. There's nobody, there's nobody there. Oh my god. It's fucking Chris Angel mind freak again. Dude, the whole the whole the whole room is empty and destroyed and decrepit, and you don't have cuffs on and you've been talking to yourself the whole time. And it's 50 years in the future.

SPEAKER_06 1:09:28

And I still have a small hole. Uh so can I take my guess now?

SPEAKER_00 1:09:38

No, you you hit your head against the podium and then you're back.

SPEAKER_06 1:09:41

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:42

There's no sorry, do we have any further questions? I was I was I was I was I wasn't I don't know what to I didn't know what to say. I was gonna be quiet, so it seemed like you were in an empty courtroom or something. You're alone with your thoughts. No, but you do hit your head in your back and the room is full of people. Okay, back to your Mr. Travel, Mr. Travis! Mr. Travis, Mr. Travis, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:04

Uh yeah, um you who? Hey, it's the first guy.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:10

Yeah, it's me.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:11

Me? The other guy. It's me.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:14

Uh it's him.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:16

Cranky Landlord from Landlord Incorporated.

SPEAKER_07 1:10:20

Oh, hey, cranky landlord from Landlord Incorporated. What can I how can I be? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:27

The when are you gonna pay your rent?

SPEAKER_07 1:10:31

I'm paying on time every month.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:34

For the bodega?

SPEAKER_06 1:10:36

Oh wait, I did miss you're right, I did get that late fee once. I do apologize about that. It really won't happen again. I'm super happy with the arrangement we have.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:46

Is there a NASGOOL here? You didn't tell me you had an extra tenant there for three years.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:52

I don't have an extra no, there's not been an extra tenant at my home for three years. Basement, basement, basement, basement.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:59

I saw I saw I saw the cage.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:02

There's no cage.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:04

Um the judge the judge just showed there was a cage.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:08

No, rent. Yeah, that's well.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:11

You offered to pay Bitcoin to someone else. And rents do. I take crypto. Dogecoin only.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:21

I thought we had a good thing. We were using Inuit QuickBooks, and I thought you guys liked it. Crypto and stuff.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:28

We're using Inuit QuickBooks?

SPEAKER_06 1:11:31

Isn't that what it's called?

SPEAKER_05 1:11:35

Intuit. Is that the name of the company that makes QuickBooks? I swear to God.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:42

I got a I got a random question. Have you ever done your taxes?

SPEAKER_06 1:11:46

Yeah, of course. Of course I have. Oh, it is intuit shit. Oh, dude, you know what?

SPEAKER_00 1:11:55

Hey, you know, let's use Inuit QuickBooks. Give me the doge coins before you go to jail. Or else I'm gonna cut you fucking balls off.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:03

Yeah, sorry. And can I move on to this line of questioning? Fuck me, Mr. Jack. Thank you, Landlord. Fuck me. Okay, why is it always fuck me, right? Why is it always fuck me?

SPEAKER_02 1:12:12

It's me the judge. Oh, that dude, I had that gave me such a hearty laugh. You're free to go, man. Seriously, you're free to go. Take the cuffs off of him. Take the cuffs off of him. And no one, no one, no one takes the cuffs off of you, but he's a key. Two thumb thumbs from spy kids come up and take the cuffs. Take the cuffs.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:31

Your honor, the prosecution move to approach. Go ahead and go ahead, dude.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:36

I don't care anymore, dude.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:38

Um can we care about this shit. I think I think we gotta levy a new suit. Clearly, there's some issues with uh like potential tax evasion.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:52

No, hey, freedom.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:55

I'm all squared up.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:57

Dude, the door flies open. There's a beaten, battered, malnourished, malnutritious woman. You're gonna run up and start hitting you.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:16

How dare you do this in the very rapid three years? Three years! Oh, get her up, get her out of here, get her the hell out of here, get what is she doing there?

SPEAKER_02 1:13:29

She gets turned, she gets taken out of the courtroom. What was that, Mr. Traffic? What was that?

SPEAKER_06 1:13:36

Can you explain better? I I wish I had an answer for you. I'd that I've never seen that woman before in my life.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:42

Guilty! 17 life sentences.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:45

What?

SPEAKER_02 1:13:46

But if you accurately guess But if you accurately guess your crime, I'll lower your sentence to 20 seconds.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:57

Okay, I think the crime that I'm being accused of committing is that I built a cage in my basement and kept a woman in there for three years and malnourished her. Dude, that's it. You got it.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:12

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:14

I don't think you've ever gotten one wrong since. The first episode, you've always got it right every time. That's right. They call me good guesser Maxi. And then the judge pulls out a gun and shoots you in the fucking head and kills you on the spot. This goblin. Alright, well that's it. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:35

Hey. Thanks for listening to Play with Traffic. Our new official is official name. It's a podcast. It's a ghost. It's a ghost, and I'm a ghost, and I have a corpse is talking to. I have a small hole. I have a small hole. The way of the future. The way of the future. Dude, I can't.