Ep. 4: Purple Homer Price Tag

Episode 4 of the Playing With Traffic podcast in which Maxwillard (OLD-AS-FUCK) Traffuletta gets vital personal information exposed, Vinno tries to find our new name, and Konner presents hard data to clear Max's name.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Brown.

SPEAKER_01 0:02

Crying.

SPEAKER_02 0:04

Judification. Judici.

SPEAKER_01 0:10

Judification.

SPEAKER_03 0:11

We're going. We're going judicification. I don't even know if that's a word. That's a word for sure. I don't know what the kind of how to how to use it in a sentence.

SPEAKER_01 0:20

It sounds like a main anti-Semitic term.

SPEAKER_02 0:23

I don't think so, man.

SPEAKER_03 0:26

Julification, Max.

SPEAKER_02 0:29

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_03 0:30

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 0:31

Judgment.

SPEAKER_03 0:32

Well, it's more accurately spelled adjudication.

SPEAKER_02 0:35

So I don't know where that came from.

SPEAKER_03 0:38

It came from a interesting. That came from a deep brown hole. Deep brown hole. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that you showed us after last podcast.

SPEAKER_02 0:46

Yep. That did scare me. I have made a doctor's appointment.

SPEAKER_01 0:52

Shouldn't look like that.

SPEAKER_02 0:54

I need to tell what is going on over here.

SPEAKER_03 0:57

What is all of that?

SPEAKER_01 0:59

Zebra style ain't natural.

SPEAKER_03 1:01

Zebra's got a wipe better. That's all I think. That's my that's where my thought process was. He's got a wipe better. Hmm.

SPEAKER_01 1:08

It's so crusted, it's like a part of the hole now.

SPEAKER_02 1:10

I gotta get a big day.

SPEAKER_03 1:12

You certainly let it crust. I think we've had this conversation. I do not let it crust. 100%. You certainly have too much.

SPEAKER_02 1:18

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I took I take a shower. I'll take a shower, hose it down if I run out of TP.

SPEAKER_03 1:24

Not true. I remember you being like even when I have toilet paper, I don't really feel like wiping because it's kind of like protective layer. It does. Just in case someone tries to tickle your cornhole.

SPEAKER_02 1:34

I don't know if you guys are familiar with sunning.

SPEAKER_01 1:37

No. Yeah, like your asshole.

SPEAKER_02 1:40

Yeah. So there was, you know, a big movement from the cool people over in California where you would go lay outside in the sun and spread your hole and soak up those bushes. I've been trying to get into it, but my hole keeps getting sunburned, so I need to have a protective layer of crust. Okay, it comes full circle. Sunscreen style. Sunscreen style, exactly. SPF brown.

SPEAKER_03 2:05

FPS Brown. Carol. Fuck you. Alright. Um, I've stopped. I've stopped uh introducing the podcast. I've stopped being like, oh, what's up, welcome? Because um, as episode five, we still do not have a name.

SPEAKER_02 2:27

Yeah. We'll figure that out.

SPEAKER_03 2:31

So we could what about like Mr. Bruce? Um, yeah, I was gonna say Mr. Bruce, but I that's not like a dog. There's a lot of Mr. Bruce out there in the world, especially in Detroit.

SPEAKER_01 2:43

There's like 15 in Detroit.

SPEAKER_03 2:44

No, it's a it's actually a big chain.

SPEAKER_02 2:46

Yeah. And everybody knows we're in Detroit anyway.

SPEAKER_03 2:49

It is. It is, it is, it is. Thank God. And there's a bunch in Detroit, anyways.

SPEAKER_02 2:57

That's right. Hey, we should probably think of a title by next week, eh? Probably.

SPEAKER_03 3:03

Yeah. I also I think that we should I think we should only talk about it during the podcast. Oh, okay. Okay, I like that. I think it's a perfect bit.

SPEAKER_02 3:14

Yeah. What about the Shemen?

SPEAKER_03 3:18

Oh, I had I had a fucking name that I thought was actually cool. And now it's it's left my brain. That's why we have the Discord, dude. No, I was going to put in the Discord, but I got distracted, and then I was like, what am I doing in Discord now? And I forgot. But I had a good one. I'm sorry. You're sick fuck. Fuck you. I forgot. I'm sorry, that's really mean. You sick fucks. You sick fucks.

SPEAKER_02 3:43

You sick fucks. I love when you guys are going back and forth just doing calling each other a sick fuck. That's good stuff.

SPEAKER_03 3:52

That's good stuff. Um a youhoo. No, that wasn't it.

SPEAKER_02 4:01

I that sounds like my average dinner.

SPEAKER_03 4:04

Hot pocket and a you-hoo.

SPEAKER_02 4:05

That's too advanced for you, Max. I actually don't know. I don't know what a you-hoo is. Me neither. I don't know what that part is, but it could be like hot milk. I've just never had a you don't know what you're doing.

SPEAKER_03 4:14

Wait, really? I know what you is. I just I've never had uh I've never had one. Oh, it's a chocolate milk.

SPEAKER_01 4:20

I thought it was like a pastry, like a Twinkie. Oh it's like canned chocolate milk. I mean, like uh you're definitely showing you're showing your privilege.

SPEAKER_02 4:29

My privilege. Check it out. Dude, no, actually, we we had this discussion with some friends the other day. Like, did you guys grow up in a household that had flavored milk often?

SPEAKER_01 4:40

Like like chocolate milk and like strawberry milk.

SPEAKER_02 4:44

Right.

SPEAKER_01 4:44

No, no, yeah, me neither.

SPEAKER_02 4:47

We got it like twice a year. But I had some friends who sorry, you go. I had uh there was four people in the in the call that I was in that said, yep, we always had chocolate milk, which is just nuts to me.

SPEAKER_03 5:01

Um no, we always had regular milk, but my dad loves oval teen, so we always had oval teen in the house. So we'd have chocolate, we'd I could have chocolate milk. I think he really likes ovaltine because of the movie uh A Christmas Story. Yeah, you guys are be sure to drink your ovaltine.

SPEAKER_02 5:22

Oh, we did every once in a while get these little straws that had flavored dots in them. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, I know what you're talking about. They never really worked well, but they were cool. It was a cool idea.

SPEAKER_01 5:34

They're like candy brushes from babies.

SPEAKER_03 5:37

Yeah. They should do that a little adderall. Yeah. Like, because you know how like I have a 15 milligram Adderall pill sitting in a plastic bag on my desk, and I look at it every now and then. I look at the little dots on the inside, the little pat little capsules in there. They should put that in a straw and let you suck on it. 1,000 milligram straw.

SPEAKER_02 5:55

And can you get it over the counter?

SPEAKER_03 5:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:59

Yeah, I'm into that. No, we should Adderstraw. Adderstraw. We should call our representatives and see if they can get on that. I agree.

SPEAKER_03 6:09

Um at the government's back open. That's true. Let's get political. I cannot believe they finally opened it.

SPEAKER_02 6:16

Okay. Okay. Or, or, I mean, if you guys want to go down this path.

unknown 6:19

No, no.

SPEAKER_03 6:20

We should call this podcast the political the very strictly political podcast.

SPEAKER_02 6:25

Yes. That's a good idea. And then never ever talk about politics once.

SPEAKER_03 6:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:31

Across the aisle, a politics podcast where we never talk about it. And then all the descriptions, all the descriptions can be like. Today we discussed speaker Mike Johnson says the House will vote next week on whether to release the Epstein files or not. And it's just us talking about Mickey and Brown. But it but then we had to come in there and it's just us talking about coming and jerking and pooping. Last episode we were talking about jerking. Did you listen to it back? Connor said he did, and there was a point where I was doing a bunch of different silly voices.

SPEAKER_01 7:05

I didn't I didn't listen to it back. That was just uh the last the like the end bit.

SPEAKER_04 7:13

You were doing a bunch of voices.

SPEAKER_01 7:14

You did quite a quite a few voices that I hadn't heard before, and I was I was quite impressed, I was stunned in the moment.

SPEAKER_03 7:22

Odd even. It was it was it was odd. I something came over me. Anything for the bit, anything to sell the bit. You started speaking in tongues.

SPEAKER_02 7:34

You guys like corn?

SPEAKER_04 7:35

I was I was feeling it.

SPEAKER_02 7:38

You guys think we should go to one of those sweet mega churches and just get up there and do some corn stuff? Like like fuck each other in the asshole? No, no, no, no, like like how they like like you see those videos of people at those mega churches where they're like, oh, the Lord is taking them over, and they're going, and they're doing all this crazy stuff and speaking in tones.

SPEAKER_03 7:58

Oh, oh, I thought you were censoring. I thought for the first time, for some reason, you were censoring yourself. No, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_02 8:05

Get up there and do some porn stuff, like oh yeah, I dare no no corn as in uh like the band. Like that. Yeah, exactly. What if we just did a full corn song and it was the spirit speaking through us? You think they'd like it?

SPEAKER_03 8:20

One episode, one episode, we should just only do that.

SPEAKER_02 8:24

I don't know if that's listenable. But I'm in.

SPEAKER_03 8:28

I'm in. Um wait.

SPEAKER_02 8:39

Wait, you know how I said judification, and you guys are like, it seems like a weird way to say something anti-Semitic? Yeah. If you if you type in Judification in Google and scroll down twice, there's a link from the world reference forums that says Judification, May 10th, 2008. The term you're looking for is Judaization. To adopt the customs, beliefs, or characters of a to make Jewish. To make Jewish.

SPEAKER_03 9:07

Jewfication?

SPEAKER_02 9:08

That's what it's called. Jude Judaism Judezivic I'm not gonna be able to do that.

SPEAKER_01 9:16

Sound it out, sound it out.

SPEAKER_02 9:18

I can't, dude. My little baby brain is breaking in half. Judy is a brain broken. He's brainbroken. There we go. I got there.

SPEAKER_04 9:26

Oh, I got there.

SPEAKER_02 9:27

Dude, I've actually oh I've I am a pretty broken man today. Um yesterday I played I think 16 games League of Legends. My god. Wow. Are you gold yet? I was gold. Wait. Yeah, so I've been at gold three, one game a win from one win away from gold two four times now, and now I'm in silver one, losing 28 LP per game. Wow. It's really fucking bad.

SPEAKER_03 10:04

Sorry for getting angry. I'm it's okay. I almost just I almost just disconnected, but yeah, no, I I understand. I I guess I don't understand. I'm not I don't play league.

SPEAKER_02 10:14

Uh it's just that my timeline to not be bald is getting closer and closer, and now I'm farther from my goal than I was two weeks ago.

SPEAKER_03 10:21

Yeah. I mean there is like a natural timeline with age that you will be bald because you're like getting there. Yeah, something like that. But like you're just kind of accelerating it.

SPEAKER_02 10:32

Yeah, but not getting plat. Yeah. No, well, there's I have a real commitment to platter ball. Which is if I don't hit plat by 2016, I gotta shave my head. By 2016. Or 2026. He's brain broken. See? I'm a broken man! I got fucking chomos in the bot lane with me, just fading kills left and right. I can't do nothing about it.

SPEAKER_01 10:57

Chomos?

unknown 10:59

Chomo?

SPEAKER_02 11:01

Chomo. Yeah. You guys know that? You guys know that. I know, yeah, we know what a chromo is.

SPEAKER_04 11:06

I do.

SPEAKER_02 11:06

I can just tell. I can just smell it on them.

unknown 11:09

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 11:10

Their names are literally stuff like CP lover67. That's a real guy I play it with. Cheese pizza. You know what's funny though? Slime from the yard on last week's episode, he was silver one, he made it to gold. He also mentioned CP lover 67, which is it means that we were close. Yeah. Wow.

SPEAKER_03 11:31

Would you have recognized him? Would you have recognized him?

SPEAKER_02 11:33

I actually think I might have played with him and I didn't recognize because he's been playing Diana Mid, and I played with a di against a Diana Mid in that kind of similar like time frame and Elo pocket. So I'm gonna go back to my mods and see if it was him. But I wasn't paying I'm I'm not focused on their names, man. I'm trying to keep my hair.

SPEAKER_01 11:50

I'd love to crawl up in your Elo pocket, dude.

SPEAKER_03 11:53

Yeah. Elo stands for ex exact long ovary exciting lower orifice.

SPEAKER_01 12:05

Yeah. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:06

Exemptary laughable. Orgasm! Yeah Elod. Yeah. Organ donor. Do you guys have the organ donor thing on your on your license?

SPEAKER_03 12:24

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 12:25

Yeah, I'm giving them away.

SPEAKER_03 12:27

They can have my they can have my organs. They're already beat to shit and ruined over years of substance abuse.

SPEAKER_02 12:34

And grilled cheese hot Cheeto from Taco Bow.

SPEAKER_03 12:37

Mainly crack so tuck heroin. So tuk so tuk. Oh, I need some so tuck so tuck.

SPEAKER_02 12:50

Dude, I just stopped at this place on my way home. That's like one of those places that just sells a bunch of like Asian products, you know what I mean?

unknown 12:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:58

Like the like, and they had these candies that are you can you get to peel them and then eat them. And they're so sticky that I can barely get them out of the package. So there's no way it's peeling. Also, I don't know why that seemed like a fun thing to me. Who gives a fuck if you peel the candy?

SPEAKER_01 13:15

Yeah, the candy you have to work for?

SPEAKER_02 13:18

Yeah, it's not. Oh, that should be their motto. Like the snack that smiles back. The candy you have to work for. The candy you have to work for. The candy you have to get in the mines for.

SPEAKER_01 13:35

Dude, I was I was at the grocery store and the uh the cashier, he was, he like asked me how my day was. I was like, Yeah, it's good. He's like, man, I wish it was the 70s. And he started talking to me about Quaalutes, how much he loved Qualudes. Just completely out of nowhere.

SPEAKER_02 13:55

He knew you were on the level.

SPEAKER_01 13:57

He's like, You see a long-haired 20-year-old, you're like, this guy. This guy's about to talk to him about Quaylud. It was just uh he was just like it was it was awesome. You walk down the street, you just bump into a dude, he sells you coke, sells you quaaludes. Yeah, he looked a lot like more.

SPEAKER_02 14:15

Oh no. He's probably the same age as me.

SPEAKER_01 14:21

So I mean I mean it made me think of you, Max.

SPEAKER_02 14:24

I wasn't alive during that time, but spiritually I'm still there.

SPEAKER_01 14:30

I mean, you're looted up all the time.

SPEAKER_02 14:32

Yeah, looted and booted.

unknown 14:35

Real.

SPEAKER_02 14:35

That's what they say about me. When were you what year were you?

SPEAKER_01 14:41

1896.

SPEAKER_02 14:42

No, 1896. 1996. Damn, I'm getting doxxed, dude. Bleep that. Bleep that. Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_03 14:49

I want you to know I haven't like.

SPEAKER_02 14:53

Yeah, my birth year, my first pet's name. I could I could drop your social if you want. I know you could, and I wish you would. Vino, did you know that my social security number was my name and his phone for two years?

SPEAKER_03 15:08

Yeah, Connor. Yeah, don't you know the entire Yeah, you do know all of his numbers. He's got it by heart. I remember that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:12

You should just say it right now. I I do you want me to do that? You don't need to. You should just say it right now, yeah. No, no, no, it's cool, dude. It's all good. Three. Let's talk about Yorm and the shadow of the Earth Tree content. Let's talk about that.

SPEAKER_03 15:27

Wait, can you say this full social security number before we get to that? You have uh you have Premiere Pro now. You have Premiere Pro now. You can do this. Maybe maybe I'll start like stitching them together and I'll send them to you to do like bleeping and then we'll get it live. Yeah, that would be a good one.

SPEAKER_02 15:42

Oh, that's a good idea. That's crazy, man. That's crazy. If you fucking leave that in, I'm gonna fucking shoot you.

SPEAKER_01 15:51

I also have access to your financial information. Dude, well, you know, I just Max, I feel like we paint a bad picture of you. Can you get in my fidelity account? Uh too. Dude, I could. I could. I could probably could, truly and honestly. Um dude, because I know I know enough information.

SPEAKER_02 16:14

Oh, yeah, that's bad because it's doing really well right now. It's going crazy.

SPEAKER_01 16:18

That's uh that's awesome. Step one, pay taxes on it. I did, I put myself on your bank accounts.

SPEAKER_03 16:24

Ooh. Ooh. I'm gonna have to title this video. It's gonna be podcast episode five in parentheses, it's gonna say bleep max's social security. Well, wait, Connor, C-Man's gonna do it in Premium Pro, right? I know, I gotta remember to send it to him to fucking make sure it's bleeped.

SPEAKER_04 16:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:46

Yeah, that'd be bad for me. I like that plan, you know. I'll I'll stitch them together because I have all the footage for like the three words that we start every episode. Whoa. Three words. The three words! The three no. What about the three prayers? That's a good idea. Uh three words podcast. Three words started, and three words, and three words. Uh nope, I got it. I lost it.

SPEAKER_02 17:19

And three words, and three words. Ooh, three words.

SPEAKER_03 17:29

Oh, I hear my upstairs neighbor's child crying. Sorry.

SPEAKER_01 17:33

They don't like corn.

SPEAKER_03 17:34

They don't like corn.

SPEAKER_01 17:36

Three words.

SPEAKER_03 17:37

Can you think about one? Can you I don't know what it is. I I met their infant child and I got in his fucking face and I went and they cried. I don't get it.

SPEAKER_02 17:52

That little baby bitch started crying, dude. I don't get it, dude. Corn rules. Fight the power. Bitch ass. I almost swung. Yeah, I was gonna drop that dumbass baby.

SPEAKER_03 18:04

Yo, get your boy. Have you seen that video?

SPEAKER_02 18:06

Yeah, those guys.

SPEAKER_03 18:07

Why is he looking at me like that?

SPEAKER_02 18:09

I met that guy.

SPEAKER_03 18:11

No, you didn't. I did.

SPEAKER_02 18:14

No, he's dead. No, he's good.

SPEAKER_03 18:16

Hold on, I'll be right back. I go get some grapes.

SPEAKER_01 18:19

Dude, he's always getting his grapes.

SPEAKER_02 18:21

He's always munching something, dude. He's got I'm clicking a pen. He's munching a something. It's important to have fiber though. You do have to have fiber for your brown. True. Speaking of, I and I dropped the term making brown in front in front of some of my other friends.

SPEAKER_04 18:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:41

And now we've just been starting to call food or any meal pre-brown. So you have your morning pre-brown, you have your afternoon pre-brown, evening pre-brown. You can have rat pre-brown if you're like me.

SPEAKER_01 18:56

Yeah, true. How many how many browns per day?

SPEAKER_02 19:02

Well, as many as you want.

SPEAKER_01 19:04

Well, but no, I mean like like for you.

SPEAKER_02 19:07

Oh, since I've been eating rat dinner?

SPEAKER_01 19:09

Um, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:10

Or rat pre-brown? Yeah. Oh, like eight. Eight? Yeah, I've been pooping a lot. You shit eight times a day? I shit six times from 11 a.m. today to 3 p.m. Why that window? I just know that's who I know where I was and where I was pooping and how many times I did it. You need to see a doctor.

SPEAKER_03 19:34

Artie, I'm not sure. And not because your asshole looks the way that it does, but maybe six times. I only poop three times. I like at most I'll poop three to four times a day. I was I was pushing it. Mine are all little though.

SPEAKER_01 19:49

I was pushing it for a minute.

SPEAKER_03 19:51

For real? Need more fiber.

SPEAKER_01 19:53

Well, yeah, that's play brown. I was uh I'd I'd wake up, I'd just have coffee, and then like it would just and and I'd make it really strong. I'd do like double the amount of coffee grounds that you should do, because I'm allergic to measuring. And uh and so I would just be drinking like poison. And that shit, like I would take five sips, and then I'd have to go.

SPEAKER_02 20:19

That's liquid pre-brown right there.

SPEAKER_01 20:21

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:22

Yeah, that's because caffeine pulls water out, like it sucks the water out of your stomach, and it doesn't make it pee, it makes it brown.

SPEAKER_03 20:29

I've been I've been shitting weird ever since I started uh caffeine pills.

SPEAKER_00 20:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:35

Yeah. But they don't make me hung, but they but they don't make me hungry, so I keep taking them. That's you should try that Adderall, man. You might find something you really like. I looked up uh I looked up Adderall overdose, and I see how people overdose on 20 milligrams, so I'm not taking it.

SPEAKER_02 20:53

No, they don't. Okay. That's fine. Maybe if you're a one-year-old baby, I've taken I don't want to say I've done plenty more than that. And I was fine.

SPEAKER_01 21:06

Triple dig, man?

SPEAKER_03 21:08

No way.

SPEAKER_02 21:08

I don't know if I've maybe gotten triple digge once, but I don't think so.

SPEAKER_03 21:11

Wait, you guys are telling me if I take this 15 milligram pill of Adderall, I'll be fine.

SPEAKER_02 21:16

You're gonna seek God, brother. Yeah, you're gonna drop it. No, I'm not gonna take it. No, no, in a good way. God's gonna speak through you. You're gonna you're gonna be the three prayers, and then you're gonna be able to do it. Should I take Adderall pre-bars?

SPEAKER_01 21:28

Three pears, six fishes.

SPEAKER_03 21:30

Wait, what what would you what'd you say? Should I take this Adderall pre-bars?

SPEAKER_02 21:36

Oh, dude, with how much you can drink right now, you could rack up a $150 bar tab and keep going on an addy. That's wild. You eat fucking frozen pizza, top pop an addy, go out drinking, you're doing stuff you never even dreamed of. Yeah, like finding women.

unknown 21:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:56

Or like pre browning in your shoe. I'm the fucking stoop of the bar after they kicked me. So you did that. So you did that. I'm not saying I did. I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_03 22:09

It's very specific. It just is very specific.

SPEAKER_02 22:12

I mean, it just it could have happened to someone, I know.

SPEAKER_01 22:16

It it did happen to someone you know. Someone you know quite well.

SPEAKER_02 22:21

Mr.

SPEAKER_01 22:21

Rogers. Yourself. Oh yourself.

SPEAKER_03 22:26

How well do you know yourself?

SPEAKER_01 22:28

You don't know Mr. Rogers.

SPEAKER_03 22:30

I do. Oh yeah, what's a social security number? We have yours. Connor!

unknown 22:36

No, no!

SPEAKER_03 22:43

If we're putting Connor on blur duty and not me, oh yeah, we're gonna fucking say Social Security number every episode. Check this out. Connor, can you wait? I want you to censor all of those. That was fucked up that he just said that. Make sure you censor this. If you're listening back to this, Connor, please censor that. I do not want this podcast to get canceled. I want Max to get canceled. I did not think he was gonna say that.

SPEAKER_02 23:06

Oh my god, dude. He's a bad man. Oh my god. You guys should replace me with someone like, I don't know, Fred Durst. No way. What else? What else? Hey, what do we got? Hey, how's this crowd doing today? What do we got? Hey.

SPEAKER_03 23:26

Hey, I've never uh I've never watched one episode of the Okay, that's not true. I've watched one episode of the Sopranos in my life. What? But that's it. Um, but I've seen a lot, and I mean a lot, of Facebook reels about the Sopranos. Okay, pretty I could tell you how the whole fucking story goes. Um But something that I've picked up unintentionally from from watching those clips and one episode of Sopranos. So I'll just be walking around and I'll be talking to somebody and something will happen and I'll just go, ow! My favorite thing to do. It's the best. I love it. It's truly the best.

SPEAKER_02 24:07

Ow! My brother loves this quote from the Sopranos that's from Polly Walnuts or whatever his name is. What's his name? Polly.

SPEAKER_01 24:14

Polly Walnuts, yeah, that's spot on.

SPEAKER_02 24:16

Is it really? Hell yeah, dude.

SPEAKER_01 24:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:17

But he has a line where he says, Let me tell you a couple of three things, which is really funny. Because a couple of things is only two.

SPEAKER_01 24:26

Let me tell you a couple of three things.

SPEAKER_02 24:28

Yeah. And my brother loves to drop that one. Drop it on around hoe at 2 a.m. on a Friday.

SPEAKER_03 24:36

Dude, my only favorite. My only my my favorite my favorite quote is the one about the butter.

SPEAKER_02 24:42

The butter?

SPEAKER_03 24:42

You act like butter wouldn't melt in your mouth. It was though.

SPEAKER_01 24:48

That's pretty hard, dude. It's pretty hard.

SPEAKER_03 24:50

Yeah, get me drunk enough and we'll start doing. Mr. Incredible just sent me a friend request on Discord. Oh ask what his wife's up to. Should we get him in here? Should we just get this guy in here?

SPEAKER_02 25:04

Let's get him in here. Let's get him in here. Yeah! Oh, uh, I don't know if we I can't remember when we last recorded, so I don't know if this is reused information, but I I uh was scrolling on Facebook the other day very early in the morning, and uh status popped up on my screen that said, I'm gonna I'm gonna waterboard that stupid fucking mouse. And I was like, what the hell is this person talking about? And then I looked at the page, and the page name is I hate Stuart Little. And it was the best. I I belly laughed at like 5 a.m. and couldn't go back to sleep. God, it was so funny. Waterboard the stupid fucking mouse.

SPEAKER_03 25:50

Yeah, I see I see it right here. Waterboarding Stuart Little. Let's go, let's do Monday.

SPEAKER_02 25:57

Yeah, and if you looked at that in a in a vacuum, it would look like I'm saying we should waterboard Stuart Little on Monday. That's not what I meant, but let's do it. Fuck it.

SPEAKER_01 26:06

Fuck that shitty little mouse. The exclamation point and the like accurate punctuation, it's like very professional, you know.

SPEAKER_02 26:14

That must have been on my phone. That had to have been, because I don't type like that. Dude, my boss does this weird thing where he always he's like, mind you, like a 48-year-old dude. And whenever I'm supposed to be coming in to do work, he sends me a text that goes, Good morning, Max. And then I like a son emoji. And it's just like the wackiest ever. And like if you met this guy, he's a he's a pr uh, he's not the nicest dude in the world, right? So it's just it's so strange.

SPEAKER_03 26:49

I don't want to go that far.

SPEAKER_02 26:50

I enjoy working for him sometimes. I'll I'll bleep.

SPEAKER_03 26:54

But do you think he's gonna watch his podcast? Do you think he's gonna watch this podcast? Maybe. Max's boss is uh what's his name? No. Max's boss is a bitch ass motherfucker. I hate that guy. Connor, can you bleep all that?

SPEAKER_01 27:10

Yeah, I mean, I have to bleep what Max initially said, too, because that's not something you're allowed to say anymore.

SPEAKER_03 27:16

What?

SPEAKER_01 27:16

I mean, maybe ever. I don't think it was ever allowable.

SPEAKER_03 27:21

You are gonna have to censor the fuck out of him. Can you just rip his social security number one last time for me?

SPEAKER_01 27:25

Yeah, dude. I'll do it nice and slow too.

SPEAKER_03 27:28

You don't need to. No, that's gonna be too bad for audio. No, we should we should release one out of order, one of his um No! We don't need one of the numbers we should okay, hold on, no, no, just how many one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, there's nine digits in the social security number. So every episode we should make a little puzzle where we don't censor one of the numbers out of order until everyone has all nine. I'm not down to put it together. And if they put it hold on, hold on, let me pitch this. And if they put the numbers together, they if they put all the numbers together correctly, they get all the money in your bank account. Yeah, I don't want to do that, man.

SPEAKER_01 28:09

I I think I think that's got legs.

SPEAKER_03 28:13

I know. I think it I think this is a democracy, and if two out of three- We only get nine good episodes. High viewership.

SPEAKER_01 28:20

There's repeat numbers. There's repeat numbers.

SPEAKER_03 28:23

Oh, yeah. Now, what if every episode we say the same number? Then they'll never get it. Nine. Nine. Well no, they might be. My social security number is. Oh, what'd you guys just so quiet for, huh? You want to be saying it? Yeah, just give me a little bit too. I'm in great.

SPEAKER_01 28:43

I hold space for your social security number.

SPEAKER_02 28:46

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 28:51

Oh my god, I want to say.

SPEAKER_02 29:10

It also doesn't need to be the blank blank podcast. It can just be the title.

SPEAKER_01 29:14

The Ants on a Log hate cast.

SPEAKER_02 29:17

I don't I don't co-sign that.

SPEAKER_01 29:21

What about what about dad lets me burrow? Is that does that work?

SPEAKER_02 29:28

Dad lets me dig in the backyard. Yeah. Dad lets me burrow. Awesome.

SPEAKER_03 29:34

Where do you even get dad? Dad lets me burrow.

SPEAKER_02 29:40

It's spelt like New York. Like the burrows of New York.

SPEAKER_01 29:44

Oh, oh, oh, this is the biggest.

SPEAKER_03 29:49

Huge.

SPEAKER_01 29:49

Dude, a couple of three three Detroit boys making the official Mandani. New York podcast?

SPEAKER_03 29:54

The Mandani podcast. Oh, yeah, because we are getting because we are getting political. We are.

SPEAKER_01 29:58

Yeah. Hey. Blue wave that day. Dude, would you uh Curtis Lewa? How how much would you take inside you? Go. Huh? Uh six. What? Swag.

SPEAKER_02 30:14

He's kind of a badass, dude. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:18

Yeah. He was one of the.

SPEAKER_03 30:20

This guy with the fucking hat? With the beret, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:22

Yeah, he's got a real cool hat. Real cool.

SPEAKER_03 30:26

Dude, Planet Fitness is ass. You have to like go in with a fucking written letter.

SPEAKER_01 30:29

I think they no, I think they they I think they changed that.

SPEAKER_02 30:32

They did get rid of that. They got rid of it finally, but I didn't know that for I paid I paid for five years of Planet Fitness. I went one time.

SPEAKER_03 30:42

Yeah. I mean that but that's only $120 a month for five years.

SPEAKER_02 30:46

So no, I had I had the little little dinky package. It was like $15 or so. Oh I mean that's it. I didn't get the I'm gonna use the spa. But yeah, I mean over time. Time over.

SPEAKER_03 31:00

Speaking of any time, anytime fitness is like that, where you where you like contracted, and if you quit and you try to back out, they make you buy your contract out.

SPEAKER_02 31:11

He's gonna go there with a boop and talk to some I just want to go plant a boop at the beep at the beep. Oh, can I tell you guys about some nasty dirty I did yesterday? Not like actually nasty dirty, but like it's kind of foul.

SPEAKER_01 31:30

Yeah, yeah, you can.

SPEAKER_02 31:32

So my I my parents came to Detroit, Michigan for dinner. And my mom brought me a bunch of little gifties because she's nice like that. Mostly their socks and new shoes because she thinks my feet stink. Um but she got me an advent calendar. If you guys are familiar, it's like the things on Christmas. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. I opened up day one last night and ate a chocolate.

SPEAKER_03 31:57

What? It's wow. I know. Santa's not Santa's not going to come to your house for that one. Dude, I'm gonna get coal and brown. He's gonna fill my stocking with brown. He's gonna come to your house, eat your pre-brown cookies, and shit in your stocking.

SPEAKER_02 32:16

Yeah, pre-brown the pre-brown cookies and milk for Santa. Hot wet coal. Hot wet coal. Hey, what is poop, but hot wet coal? You know what I mean? There's gotta be some energy in there. What is poop but hot wet coal?

SPEAKER_00 32:32

Hot wet cold! Hot wet cold.

SPEAKER_03 32:35

Guys, I'm hot. This is wet, and that's cold, and we are. And then like a sound of a fire, and then the sound of some water, and then the sound of like some mining?

SPEAKER_02 32:49

Ooh. Like a chat a candle getting put out. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 32:54

Hot, wet, cold, dry. Hot, wet, cold, dry.

SPEAKER_02 32:56

Hot, wet, cold, dry. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 32:59

Heart failure?

SPEAKER_02 33:00

Did you guys do uh do you guys know what Satan is?

SPEAKER_03 33:03

The warm, wet, cold, dry classification is a framework for assessing patients with acute heart failure based on congestion and perfusion. Sorry, what were you saying?

SPEAKER_02 33:11

Nothing, but that's awesome. Wait, no, not awesome. Heart failure is not cool. It takes out most of us.

SPEAKER_03 33:22

Yeah, I'm probably gonna die of heart failure because of these fucking caffeine pills.

SPEAKER_02 33:25

I'm definitely gonna die of heart failure because of the nicotine and Adderall I've been taking my whole life.

unknown 33:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:30

Don't censor that, don't censor that, don't censor that. They've been shoving nicotine down my throat since I was a boy. I kind of want Zins again.

SPEAKER_02 33:39

Oh dude, getting packed up is nice.

SPEAKER_03 33:43

Can we we should be called the Four Humors?

SPEAKER_02 33:46

But there's three of us.

SPEAKER_03 33:48

The Four Humors That's actually What's up? I'm Sanguine. This is choleric, that's melancholic, and that's plegmatic. Is that what they're actually named? Holy shit.

SPEAKER_02 34:05

How do you know that?

SPEAKER_01 34:06

That's so cool, dude.

SPEAKER_02 34:08

I really like that actually. The four. Or maybe we just gotta get a fourth. Then we can do it.

SPEAKER_01 34:17

Poly Max, dude. Who's Poly Max? You. You're like, oh, we need a third. We need a fourth. Let's get a dog.

SPEAKER_02 34:30

I'd like a dog. I don't know why this made me think of this, but you guys know who Dolly Parton is?

SPEAKER_03 34:40

No.

SPEAKER_02 34:41

Never heard of her. Really?

SPEAKER_03 34:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:45

No, she's like a really famous singer. She's even got an amusement park called the Dolly World. It's like pretty sick.

SPEAKER_03 34:50

I thought that was like a Walmart thing. Oh, that's Wally World.

SPEAKER_02 34:54

No, Dolly World. Well, the other day I was out in public and this old guy walked past me reading the newspaper and he went, Did you hear? Dolly Parton just died. And I went, no, that sucks. I hit up my my what do you call your cousin's wife? Your cousin's wife. Your cousin's wife.

SPEAKER_01 35:13

It's not like a cool Your cousin-in-law.

SPEAKER_02 35:16

Somebody fucking kill me.

SPEAKER_01 35:18

Somebody DS-second cousin? I g I don't know though.

SPEAKER_02 35:21

Yeah, okay. But my cousin's wife is a huge Dolly Parton fan, so I sent her a text and I was like, hey, I'm sorry about Dolly Parton. I know you loved her so much. And she's like, what do you mean? And I was like, she died, and she was like, no.

SPEAKER_03 35:32

And she was like, I feel like this story, this story would be more impactful if I knew who Dolly Parton was. You know who Dolly Parton is. Just Google the bitch. Sorry, I shouldn't call her that.

SPEAKER_02 35:40

Just Google the lady.

SPEAKER_01 35:41

That's fast, like that. So is that what? Yeah, please do.

SPEAKER_02 35:44

Just Google the bitch.

SPEAKER_03 35:45

Dolly Parton. That was fucked up. Um, she's a singer. So she's she sings? Yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Oh, she's got a Wikipedia page. Let me look at that. Um 50 studio albums. Wow, she has she's been doing this for a while. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:10

She's like pretty f she's like she's pretty much a household name.

SPEAKER_03 36:15

Yeah, she looks like it for sure, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:19

Yeah, with those j is Jackie Chan alive? I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 36:25

Who the fuck is Jackie Chan? There's no way.

SPEAKER_01 36:29

I just saw an article today. I saw an article that that said, Is Jackie Chan dead? Here's the facts. And and that's Newsweek put up an article 15 hours ago.

SPEAKER_02 36:42

Jackie Chan death hoax goes viral.

SPEAKER_03 36:45

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 36:46

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 36:47

Is he alive? Yeah, he's totally fine. Oh. Oh, oh, he's an actor. Oh no, he's a martial artist. Yeah, you know Rush Hour? No.

SPEAKER_01 36:57

You know Rush Hour 2. Isn't that the other guy? No. Oh. You know Rush Hour 3? No. You know Rush Hour 4? No.

SPEAKER_02 37:03

You know Chris Rock?

SPEAKER_01 37:05

No. It's not Chris Rock. Wait, I know Chris Rock. Chris Rock's the guy who got slapped. No, it's Chris Tucker, you racist asshole.

SPEAKER_03 37:12

Fuck it is! Wait, I know Rush Hour 5, though.

SPEAKER_02 37:15

Why did Jeff Frost punch Chris Rush and the penis?

SPEAKER_03 37:20

So Rush so Jackie Chan's in Rush Hour 5? He's in, I think, all of them.

SPEAKER_01 37:26

It's all he's ever done.

SPEAKER_03 37:28

Oh no, he looks like a really famous. Okay, guys, stop fucking with me. He seems like a really famous, like proficient actor. Yeah, he's like he's kind of like a household name. Like Dolly Barton, sure, dude. Your track record is your track record is scarlet.

SPEAKER_02 37:43

Everyone's oh dude, this is awesome. I just looked at my Netflix.

SPEAKER_03 37:48

Oh my god! He was he was in Police Story 2. I don't remember this guy. Yeah. Yeah, I remember this guy now.

SPEAKER_02 37:57

I just clicked on my Netflix page and it says, We'll think you love these, and it was movie titles, and the second one was Snatch. And boy, oh boy, didn't know I love Snatch.

SPEAKER_03 38:09

You know what I love? You know what I love? What's up? I love going through your bank statements. I love looking at your bank statements. I love going through them with with uh with Connor. He he went ahead and um added myself to your accounts. There's no way he knows your hold on, he knows your social security number. He already said earlier with a good high degree of success, he can get into your accounts. He did, and he compiled it. And now I want to Connor.

SPEAKER_01 38:39

And I'd just like to clarify, this is like a 48-hour snapshot of your spending. And you know, uh kind of my motivation. I just want to explain.

SPEAKER_02 38:48

Sorry, why does it say like oh can we can we focus? Yeah, of course.

SPEAKER_01 38:56

I you know, I feel like Max, we kind of paint you in a bad light sometimes, you know, like a lot of a lot of what we talk about is true and real, and there's not a lot of jokes on the podcast. And but like sometimes we are joking, and those jokes make you look kind of bad. And so I thought it'd be nice, no jokes, to just kind of show you know, like who who you are via your bank statement and the way that you spend your money.

SPEAKER_02 39:21

Yeah, okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 39:24

You can tell a lot about a man. You can tell a lot about a man by the way he spends his hard-earned money. They don't like how yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_02 39:31

Yeah, no, that's not a great idea.

SPEAKER_01 39:34

Well, and like right off the bat, dude, a donation to the Salvation Army? Yeah. 115 bucks.

SPEAKER_03 39:40

I mean, that's extremely nice of you. That was actually wait, $150?

SPEAKER_02 39:47

That was in the tail end of a JC Penny purchase, too, for a $10 t-shirt.

SPEAKER_01 39:51

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 39:52

Wow. I wish.

SPEAKER_03 39:54

I wish.

SPEAKER_01 39:55

It's actually a little a little disappointing that you didn't go out of your way and just like make a point to do that donation.

SPEAKER_02 40:01

Um, they asked, and I said, of course I would like to make that donation. Every time.

SPEAKER_04 40:08

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 40:09

Every time. I don't think they asked you for that one.

SPEAKER_03 40:13

Uh what is what does that say?

SPEAKER_01 40:17

Uh, that's the it's $35,000 donation for the Riyadh Comedy Festival.

SPEAKER_03 40:22

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 40:24

Um $35,000. I don't I didn't think the Saudi royals needed donations. Um guys, if someone else.

SPEAKER_03 40:34

I mean, like, there's no there's no either there's no easy way to say. There's no easy way to say that like that whole thing is founded on like blood money, dude.

SPEAKER_02 40:42

Hey, well, we know that they have 35,000 clean USD. That was not blood money.

SPEAKER_03 40:48

That's insane. Wait, who was going to the we were talking about this guy last time.

SPEAKER_01 40:53

Yeah, Louis C.K. Louis C. K. Yeah, that's right. He's going to that. Yeah. So I went to Louis C.K. I Bill Cosby made an appearance too.

SPEAKER_02 41:03

That's actually that's actually the two of them's booking fee combined. That's what the donation was for.

SPEAKER_01 41:10

I mean, honorable, truly.

SPEAKER_03 41:13

It's kind of crazy that you would do $150.

SPEAKER_01 41:17

Oh, interesting. $150 Venmo to Dick Cheney. November 5th, we're smoking wet? I don't think you're getting that money back, buddy.

SPEAKER_02 41:31

Yeah, he's why would you put that note?

SPEAKER_01 41:34

Well, we were gonna smoke some wet together. He died on November 4th, man.

SPEAKER_02 41:39

Took your wet money and ran.

SPEAKER_03 41:41

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 41:42

That fucker, he faked it. I knew it.

SPEAKER_03 41:46

That's insane. I also want to say that you spent $35,000. You donated you donated $35,000 to the Riyadh comedy festival just but only $150,000 to Salvation Army Max. Do you want to talk about that at all or what?

SPEAKER_02 42:00

Um, you know, it was just when the money I got a lot of like, what do you call them? Uh wires I don't know. That come in and out. Right? And I just had the money for the wire for Riyadh that day, and I didn't have a wire for that 150 the day previous. You know what I mean? Right. Money moves around, you know.

SPEAKER_03 42:22

I just the the the salvation army essentially means what Dick Cheney means to you. That's kind of like an equivalent I'm finding out here.

SPEAKER_01 42:30

Well, no, Dick Cheney and a night of smoking wet. Yeah, that was just the amount of money we needed for the wet.

SPEAKER_03 42:37

And he died in November 5th.

SPEAKER_02 42:41

Well, yeah, but no, I was I was saying November 5th we're gonna smoke some wet, but I sent the Vemo on a different day. I didn't know he was gonna die.

SPEAKER_01 42:49

Well, yeah, my my source is telling me that wet is slang for PCP.

SPEAKER_02 42:53

Oh I thought it was something different.

SPEAKER_03 42:57

Well, earlier in the podcast, and we were we censored it because you asked us to, and it's gonna be cut out, but you did say that you were like high on PCP like 20 minutes ago.

SPEAKER_02 43:06

Yeah, like most of my days. What else we got?

SPEAKER_01 43:12

Oh, we got it, we got a couple. Ooh. $286 on OnlyFans to Purple Homer. To Purple Homer? Do you wanna do you wanna explain that one, Max?

SPEAKER_02 43:24

Um I am really bummed that you got this information, but yeah, purple homer. Uh just a really good creator.

SPEAKER_03 43:37

Um what are they proficient in? Is it solo? Is he with somebody?

SPEAKER_02 43:45

It's mostly kind of food stuff. Kind of like he does a lot of stuff with donuts, and then he goes.

SPEAKER_01 43:55

I see, I see. My my my sources tell me this is the pricey charge.

SPEAKER_02 44:02

Yeah. Um I wanted to I wanted him to I think I think you know let's well let's let the let's let the statement speak for itself here. Yeah, we don't need to go into what another donation.

SPEAKER_01 44:17

You're very generous.

SPEAKER_02 44:18

I really hey I'm a charitable guy.

SPEAKER_01 44:21

To Intact America. Hmm. Mm-hmm. Um do you wanna talk about that one?

SPEAKER_02 44:30

I don't remember this organization. Just give me a second to check out what Intact America does. Intact America, anti-circumcision advocates. Yeah, no, I am what's called an anti-activist, which is people who believe that circumcision shouldn't happen. I want my skin back, but I can never get it back. It was taken from me. Because we're a part of the great Midwestern something, circumcision something that Charlie knows the term of. I forgot. I wish he could tell me so I could put it in here. We were robbed. Of our hood. You can't joke your shit back. I have a question.

SPEAKER_03 45:15

I have a question. The doctor that took your foreskin walks through the door and he points at you with the shears that he used. What are you what are you doing? I take those and I fucking pull both his eyes out with him. He pulls out a gun. He says, sit in the chair. Oh. Sit down. I sit. You sit? He says, take him off. No. Not again. No, not again! You won't take me again! Take him off!

SPEAKER_04 45:41

Bastard!

SPEAKER_03 45:44

He rips your clothes off. He starts pulling them off. He puts a gun in your mouth. He pulls your pants down. He looks at your asshole. He goes, Oh, and he runs. Does he leave his gun? No, he runs. He runs, he screams. He goes, Oh! Wait, did he drop the gun or no? No, he he's he's still holding the gun. Damn it. He dropped the shears. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 46:04

Oh, I take those and then I go rob a cop's gun from him.

unknown 46:07

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 46:08

You run out the door and find the cop. That's mine now. You want to keep your skin black? That's what I say. In a southern draw. That's the wet, yeah. The doctor wasn't ever really there, and I'm holding twizzles. You're just holding your peel candy. Twizzlers.

SPEAKER_03 46:31

It's insane.

SPEAKER_02 46:32

Alright, next transaction. Another 200. Oh. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 46:37

Another transaction to Purple Homer, another $286. And we we got the message here. My sources included that. Get a circumcision, Lol. Send vid of jerk off moaning feet in frame.

SPEAKER_03 46:50

Wait, wait, you donated $1,200 to Intact America, but then you want Purple Homer to get a circumcision. Where do your priorities lie?

SPEAKER_02 46:58

You know what they say? There's two wolves in your belly.

SPEAKER_03 47:01

True. One's circumcised and the other one loves Purple Homer. The other one loves Purple Homer.

SPEAKER_02 47:07

Yep, that's right. And whichever you feed. Whichever you feed more skin.

SPEAKER_01 47:13

Oh, what do we have here? Oh, that's very nice. Well, well, $89.99 donation to St. Jude's Children's Hospital.

SPEAKER_02 47:20

That's so nice. Yeah, why didn't I bump that up a cent, you know? It had to do with the wires. The wires. Yeah, it was the wires. Oh.

SPEAKER_01 47:29

It looks like it might have been a misclick.

SPEAKER_02 47:31

Oh. Oh, I see.

unknown 47:34

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 47:36

$89.99. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:39

It's definitely a misclick.

SPEAKER_03 47:40

Holy shit. Oh. Holy crap. That's a lot of V-Bucks. So many V-Bucks. You better have every costume in the game.

SPEAKER_02 47:48

There's three transactions for $89.99 of $13,500,500 V-Bucks.

SPEAKER_01 48:02

The Simpsons Fortnite. Looking like you reached out to Purple Homer again here.

SPEAKER_02 48:09

Oh, more money. Oh, another $286 for OnlyFans Purple Homer.

SPEAKER_01 48:14

Yeah, yeah. I'm you in Fortnite lol. Send bit of jerk off moaning feet in frame. You really like your feet, Max.

SPEAKER_03 48:23

It seems like.

SPEAKER_01 48:25

Well, you uh you know your tastes.

SPEAKER_02 48:28

I really like purp never mind. Uh I'm not really into feet or the Simpsons. I think somebody got into my account, actually.

SPEAKER_01 48:40

It seems clear that it's easy to do. It's about 840 bucks of your money spent in I mean, this is 12 hours right here.

SPEAKER_02 48:48

No! No.

SPEAKER_01 48:49

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 48:52

Yeah. I bet you guys didn't know I was this rich, huh?

SPEAKER_01 48:59

Oh my god. Max and investing in some elective surgeries, it seems.

SPEAKER_02 49:04

The $30,000, the Audi Fixer plastic surgery-crab shack.

SPEAKER_01 49:11

Yeah, the $38,000.

SPEAKER_03 49:13

Oh, my my mistake. Well, yeah, that's about as much as it is to like reverse your belly button. No, no, that was on a nice meal. That was on a nice meal at the crab shack.

SPEAKER_01 49:22

It's called the Audi Fixer. You had a little you had a little Freudian slip, dude. It was $30,000 for the surgery, $8,000 for the crab.

SPEAKER_02 49:30

I never had an Audi. And if I ever do, now we can see it's taken care of.

SPEAKER_01 49:36

So well, uh they they kind of say something else. Really? Um it's a $38,000. They even refunded you for the crab. $38,000 refund from the Audi fixer. Um sources say they reached out to the the surgeon um and said this Audi is too powerful. It's beyond the powers of even man.

SPEAKER_02 49:58

Perhaps that yeah, this is clearly somebody else's account. Yeah, I don't I don't think so. I don't have an Audi.

SPEAKER_01 50:08

My sources met it pretty thoroughly. The surgeon said it looked like a baby dick.

SPEAKER_02 50:15

Maybe they were just referring to my penis. I do happen to pull that out at dinners.

SPEAKER_01 50:22

Get all horned up at the crab shack.

SPEAKER_02 50:24

Yeah, it's just like, you know how like when you crunch it and you take its arm off, and then you pull the meat out, and if you get like a good clean pull.

SPEAKER_01 50:36

Is that about your penis or crab?

SPEAKER_02 50:38

The crab. Okay, another another transaction.

SPEAKER_01 50:47

Uh yeah, this is uh we'll round up about $400 for your VR subscription to goatsify.ai.

SPEAKER_02 50:58

Goatsify. Yeah, no, I never heard of that. What is goat goatsy? You're the one that spent $400. No, that's I don't know. Someone's got clearly I mean Connor has access to my uh bank account.

SPEAKER_03 51:10

You know goat, you know what goatsy is. You know what goatsy is. I have read-only access. You know what goatsy is. Never heard of it. Dude, you literally goatseyed us last week.

SPEAKER_00 51:20

Yes, kind of did, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 51:22

So you know what it is then!

SPEAKER_01 51:24

You goatseed us so hard, we saw polyps, Max.

SPEAKER_03 51:28

Like oh my god. How many people are you gonna goatsify? I'm fuck- I'm fucked up by that. That's scary. Well, that's a lot of power. It's a lot of power.

SPEAKER_02 51:39

That's what I can take from context clues from that website. It's not that you're goatsifying people, it's just other people goats goatseeing themselves.

SPEAKER_03 51:47

No, no, I just looked it up actually. No, I just looked it up. It goatsifies pictures and people in your life, especially loved ones.

SPEAKER_01 51:55

It's an it's an AI VR tool that allows you to create VRs, goatsies, who you choose.

SPEAKER_03 52:03

That's actually really fucked up, I think. Last of you, we should move on now. I got some news for you.

SPEAKER_01 52:06

The $400 tier also sinks up to toys.

SPEAKER_02 52:09

I got some news for you guys. I'm gonna go see. No, don't tell me. I'm gonna go see later. You can't even stop.

SPEAKER_01 52:22

Got a couple more transactions, Max. You got $900 at the lasagna store. The tracks. $18,000 at the bread and cheese emporium. You've been going to the biggest.

SPEAKER_02 52:32

How do you spend that much on bread and cheese? Well, I gotta stack up for my rat dinners. I mean, I need I need I this time I did something I've always wanted to do. Which is I found the a wheel the size of an 18-wheeler tire of sharp cheddar. And boy, I didn't know this, but those things get expensive. True.

SPEAKER_03 53:01

But I knew you drive a car with wheel with cheese wheels.

SPEAKER_02 53:05

Depends on the cheese, I think. Again with the purple homer! Ah, another $286, OnlyFans to Purple Homer. Ooh. And what sorry, I can't read that note.

SPEAKER_01 53:18

So much bread and cheese, call me Max Sandwich. Send vid of jerk off moaning feet in frame. I mean, it's it speaks for itself.

SPEAKER_02 53:29

The confusing thing is why do I want the same kind of video four times? You know what I mean? I don't know. I can't see Purple Homer's.

SPEAKER_01 53:39

Well, that is I didn't get into your account.

SPEAKER_03 53:41

And you know what's crazy? That is a Freud and slip because there is no note on the first OnlyFans purchase. So you just admitted that you purchased him jerking off moaning feet in frame, or at least requested it four times when the first one doesn't have a note saying.

SPEAKER_01 54:02

Don't even let him fight $58 donation to blood stained men.

SPEAKER_03 54:07

What is blood stained men?

SPEAKER_01 54:10

It's it's another it's another circumcision group, Max.

SPEAKER_03 54:13

No way. Well, you don't support them, you don't support as much as you support the others.

SPEAKER_02 54:17

Not as much love for them as you have for Intact America, which is I respect you for they have a better track record for doing real work, you know?

SPEAKER_01 54:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 54:29

Why is it spelled like that?

SPEAKER_01 54:31

3,500 bucks the licostone?

SPEAKER_02 54:34

Oh, delicate stuff? Delicaste?

SPEAKER_03 54:38

The one right beneath your bodega.

SPEAKER_02 54:40

Yeah. The underground liquor. Wait, can I can I deralize for a second? Have you guys seen videos of what the bloodstained men do? Oh yeah, they like like all white button-ups and trousers, and then they put a bunch of red on their crotch as if they're having a period, and it says circumcision is horror.

SPEAKER_01 55:06

It's awesome.

SPEAKER_02 55:08

It's I should have given them more. I should have given them more.

SPEAKER_01 55:11

If I was you, I would have given them more. You know, but I would have given them more, but anyway.

SPEAKER_02 55:21

Ooh. Vinny's not gonna like this one. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 55:25

How do you spend that much fucking money there? That doesn't make even make sense.

SPEAKER_02 55:29

So just for the the audio listeners, because that's all we do, actually.

SPEAKER_03 55:39

You're dead. You're dead. No, and your foreskin's gone. You're dead, you're done, you're dead, you're done.

SPEAKER_02 55:46

Vin, Vin. You don't understand. I was there buying pigs in a blanket.

SPEAKER_03 55:52

Don't josh me, dude. I'm gonna get ticked.

SPEAKER_02 55:56

What about ticks on a log?

SPEAKER_03 55:58

Now we're talking.

SPEAKER_02 55:59

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_03 56:02

Full of no no, they're like full, they're just full ticks, full of blood. They're big and fat.

SPEAKER_02 56:07

Big juicy fuckers. They all got limes.

SPEAKER_03 56:10

Bite into them, they go.

SPEAKER_02 56:13

That was a really good sign effect. They got me. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 56:20

Okay, Max. Another transaction to Purple Home here on OnlyFans. I'm gonna turn 5,000 into 10. Donate it to charity for you. Send Viv jerk off moaning feet and fun.

SPEAKER_02 56:34

What is I'm gonna turn 5,000 into 10 mean?

SPEAKER_03 56:37

You're gonna go to the casino, dude. Oh, and then five. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 56:44

Another 5,000 on Rainbow.

SPEAKER_01 56:46

Looking like the first bet didn't work out for you.

SPEAKER_02 56:49

No, I'm at a and another 5,000 Rainbows. That's $1,500 on Rainbows so far. I haven't turned it into anything, it doesn't look like. Oh, and then Oh, so that's $2,000. Dude, when you put it like that, knowing that I did lose $2,000 on stake.com, when you run out of my cigarettes like that. Oh.

SPEAKER_01 57:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 57:10

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 57:11

Oh, well, let's see now you Twitch.

SPEAKER_02 57:18

They juiced me. They juiced me over there. They juiced me. Well, not much. No, no, no.

SPEAKER_01 57:26

30 grand in the hole, yeah, yeah. Okay. Another topic stake. Uh yeah, you didn't get it with that. Okay. So another 50 grand. That's 50 grand. No, no, that's 40. No, but it's 40. That's 40. I remember. Okay. Another five. Another five. Back to Rainbow. Something's got to shake, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 57:49

The money goes around. It's gonna come back eventually.

SPEAKER_03 57:54

What is that? 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40, 45, 50, 55,000.

SPEAKER_01 58:01

Your luck's gotta turn it down. You could have just donated 10,000. That's what I could do. 10,000 cooked. Yeah, that's another, it's an that's 60,000 total that you spent.

SPEAKER_02 58:11

Okay. Okay. Still not winning, Max. No, that's not good. Yeah, I remember this night. That's that's pretty tough. Well, I remember this night. Me and Dick Cheney were smoking wet, and I was on a losing streak. Looking like looking like you did win. 10,000 for Purple Homer's free foot clinic for boys, not girls. I do want to be clear about that association. There are no girls allowed.

SPEAKER_01 58:38

Yeah. Yeah. Just boys.

SPEAKER_02 58:41

I know in this, you know, this fucking woke America. Woke America. No. Boys just can't have anything anymore. You know what I mean? What if it's just for the dudes? Just for the fellas. Just for our feet.

SPEAKER_01 58:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 58:54

That's what I like about them.

SPEAKER_01 58:56

Pedicure awareness, man. It's important.

unknown 59:02

Oh. Oh.

SPEAKER_01 59:08

My final transaction in twelve hours is $286 on OnlyFans to Purple Homer. Did it first try? You make me so lucky. Four leaf clover emoji. Now send vid of jerk off moaning feet.

SPEAKER_02 59:24

Did it first try? You make me so lucky. Can you now click on column A and just see the sum?

SPEAKER_01 59:32

Um I don't I don't have that. I don't have that set up, thanks.

SPEAKER_02 59:36

Just click A. Just click on column A. What? Bottom right corner.

unknown 59:43

What?

SPEAKER_02 59:44

In the bottom right corner of your screen. Look at it. It says sum.

SPEAKER_01 59:47

Oh yeah, that's 200. Minus the 10,000. Well, wait, no. Yeah. Well, I was I guess I was refunded. The 38,000 cancels out, so that's kind of fucking shit up a little bit. So minus like, you know, that's still about 150,000 that you spent.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:07

It's more, it's still much more than that. But yeah, it was uh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:14

So that's what happens when you smoke wet, kids. Stay away from the wet. Dude, I just fucking tried to put $25 down on blackjack in Bovada and then the game crashed, and I just lost $25. You're insane. You're gambling when we're doing the podcast. I just saw Steak and Rainbett and that's it. There's gotta be some limits, dude. This is the first 25 I've thrown all week.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:41

Didn't you gamble? Didn't you do slots on your phone at work? I can't fucking believe you're high-roading me right now! There's gotta be limits, man.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:50

There's gotta be a line you draw somewhere, man. I don't know, man. Hey, did you screen record that?

SPEAKER_01 1:00:58

Uh no. Ooh.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:01

Probably got some working. You could just do a little editing and post, get that working. Yeah, a little editing post. Yeah, I can just f I can just follow around.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:08

Just follow around. Yeah?

SPEAKER_03 1:01:09

Yeah. This is so fucking stupid.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:12

Oh man. Dude, just lost some fucking cash, man. Fix it, Bovada. Um like I didn't make it. I mean, I synthesized the information from my sources. Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:26

You just collected information and compiled it for you.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:29

And I that occurred that occurred like uh I mean last week.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:35

Interesting.

unknown 1:01:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:37

Yeah, no, it I I'm I just want to bring up that there was a topic that was clearly entered into our Discord for topics that was clearing Max's name. Well, and that was like we went the opposite direction.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:53

No, I just your name is cleared. What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_01 1:01:56

I mean, you made some good donations. The thing is, Max, is that like you I'm I'm duty bound. You know, we're journalists now.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:05

Yeah, the four pillars of journalism, truth, whatever.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:08

Journal, yeah. Yeah, truth, truth, truth, and truth. Like journalistic integrity is that you know, I can't my sources reach out to me, provide me this information.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:17

I can't just because I love you and you're a disgusting belly button, it's anything that's not even that not even God can handle. That terrible, it's like it's like pet creature inch and a half, and it's thick and naughty. And it smells really bad. It looks at you funny, it says stuff, and it and it goes squelch. No, it goes, squelch.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:47

Stop.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:48

Connor does have a thing. Connor does have this weird fear of my belly button, even though it isn't any, he didn't like to look at it because it was too deep.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:55

Because it was so out of it. That's not why. Yeah. Yeah. It's it's because it extends in such a way it creates like this sort of optical illusion where if you look at it from the right angle, if you're looking at it head on, it looks like it extends inward for eternity.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:12

Yeah. You know what the you know what the demon do you know what the demon core is?

SPEAKER_01 1:03:17

No.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:19

It's like a little piece of like vibe like uranium that uh this guy would use like a fucking screwdriver to encase it in like uh tungsten or something. And uh one time he fucking dropped the screwdriver and like closed the demon core inside, like completely inside of I think it was like what the lead. It might have been whatever whatever uh radiation can't go through, whatever fucking metal that is. Um probably lead. It uh he dropped it and the thing enclosed and then the core went um what's the word? Imploded? Oh no, hold on. Demon core. Uh what was it called? Oh no, it was plutonium. Yeah, it went Yeah that that's that's the demon core. It went critical. It went crit it went critical because it it flashed blue and it killed a bunch of people in the room when it when it slammed. That's why I'm afraid Yeah, that's why I'm afraid of your belly button. Because it kind of gives off that same vibe. I think it's gonna go super critical. Like if you get too close to it, within three to five years, you could die of radiation or something.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:35

There is a three-word combo, then if you utter it around my Audi Belly button, it will turn me into a monster and take over the world.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:44

Please don't squelch.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:46

Stop, stop, no, no, no, and then I go squelch!

SPEAKER_01 1:04:50

Squelch. Purple Homer feet. Purple Homer feet.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:57

No, no, no, don't we think?

SPEAKER_03 1:05:02

Oh, oh, okay. Before anyone uh listens to this and corrects me in the comments, it was a plutonium core in a beryllium half sphere, and then they put the other half of the beryllium half sphere on top of it by hand, used a screwdriver, screwdriver, screwdriver to keep it from falling all the way down because if it did go all the way down, it would cause the core to go super critical, which flashed blue, and then made everyone gay and they all kiss. Oh, it's like pink kryptonite. Yeah, it's like PCP, smoking wet. Penis. It's like penis.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:42

Oh, it's gonna be gay!

SPEAKER_01 1:05:44

Oh dudes. That's like that's real. What? There there was pink kryptonite that made Superman gay.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:55

No.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:56

Yes. Oh my god, it is. What were they doing in the eighties?

SPEAKER_03 1:06:02

Oh my god, it does.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:04

Yeah, it's not even I'm not even making that up.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:06

He's actually like that's actually true.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:10

Oh my god, there's a scene of him sucking Batman's penis 69 style here. Oh wow, but they're in the air. They're floating. Because he's Superman.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:19

He's got super strength and super suction.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:24

Sucks his dick, sucks his dick clean off his body.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:27

Dude, he removed his dick with his beautiful DSLs.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:30

Super suction. Okay. Okay, well, that's a great note to end on. Okay, bye. Okay, bye.